.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. so screwed... i am the source

fleeting moments

2010-04-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

another year has passed and i am one year older.

as usual i almost had a week long birthday celebrations with the ones i love - thanks for all your greetings, words of encouragements and for the great joy you have brought to my life. thank you for being there when i needed you the most and holding my hand through the trails and tribulations that life has thrown at me... you have made living on this earth easier

a special recognition to anastacia , zipui and mel for making my birthday so memorable

i am truly blessed - for i am alway showered with amazing gifts

this year i was blessed with a swatch and armani exchange watches , lauder and ysl perfumes - party like a rockstar zirca package and an amazing dinner at pasta brave

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

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I would like to share with ya a poem i read in this book i am reading now the tibetian way of living and dying with you - i hope it inspires a change in you .

' autobiography in five chapters '

1) i walk down the street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk
i fall in.
i am lost . . . i am hopeless
it isnt my fault
it takes forever to find a way out

2) i walk down the same street
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk
i pretend i dont see it
i fall in again
i cant believe im in the same place
but it isnt my fault
it still takes a long time to get out

3) i walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk
i see it there
i still fall in ... its a habit
my eyes are open
i know where i am
it is my fault
i get out immediately

4) i walk down the same street
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk
i walk around it

5) I walk down another street ...

something to thing about
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i actually expected a certain someone to wish me - most likely this will reach that person through a certain someone..

I JUST MIGHT BE IN LOVE -AINT TELLING WHO JUST YET....

dejected

2010-04-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

i feel terrible just 2 or 3 days ago i happily told everyone that i will be staying off booze till the 24Th and i actually kept to my word for TWO SOLID WEEKS.... and then disaster struck

the sweet sweet aroma of booze finally got to me... which is the final blow to my god forsaken fast . and i folded and i folded bad ...

had 2 pints and thats it the fast is officially over

i have failed and i have failed in my 6 weeks test of self-control

but for some weird ass bitchy reason it was the best drink i ever had and it got me darn ass high...

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unadultered

2010-04-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

when is the last time you made a friend

someone who you can trust you Atm pin with
someone whom ya know has your back
someone to share in both your joy and sorrow
someone who you can pour your heart out

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Alot has happened our the last few months since my last entry - i have decided to consolidate all my entries and just highlight the important parts - recently i have realised how much my blogged has help me in my growth - it somehow tracked my transition from adolescence to my current fledgling state of adulthood. reading my past entries and often reminising about my secondary school days which i miss so much . To think about i have been blogging here since i was sec 2 . things that mattered to me when i was younger does not mean to much to me right now...

what i look for in a relationship has changed
what i look for in a person has changed
what i expect from my family has changed
what i hope for myself have changed

beening on mc for the last few months contrary to what people say is not something i want - i want to do something - anything to keep my mind of the negativity that surrounds me... i miss hanging out with friends i miss the idea of waking in the morning with some goal in life . it has destoryed a part of me....

15 may my mc would end and another phase of my life should start hopefully
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hey peeps i am officially off booze till the 24th of april - at least that the plan my plans are planning to get me smashed that day for my birthday ... which is on the 26th by the way . please feel free to shower me with expansive things ... buai pai seh ....

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exciting happening that happened over the last few months that are worth mentioning

dragons class gathering

since the cliques are formed you roughly guessed how the class gathering went . it was nice to see alicia and kaman , kj , seha and kiat ying ... i somehow regretted planning the gathering - as usual someone has comments about the place i choose ... come on people if you are not happy with the place i choose then when people are asking for suggestion - suggest something . at times i am glad that i have a low readership for my blog it sure gives me more more freedom in the bitchin department. the only glad thing about the class gathering was that i was able to reconnect back with kaman seha and kj - not every situation ends totally bad right.

making new friends

i was having a very bad day during michelle's birthday which she celebrated at the crewroom at prinsep. dont get me wrong her birthday was not bad it was heaps of fun esp with mcgallans - its just that i was in alot of pain that day ( back ) it was 3 in the morn and i just did not want to go home just yet . i messaged my dearest ana and by just hearing the tone of my voice ( indication of an excellent fren ) she knew that i was not having a good day.. she brought down her frens and met me at clark quay - i feel bad about the whole situation as i have dragged her right after a long day at work . when to clark quay the place wad dying down ... so we headed to sabai and had a blast 1 chivas and 1 martell later we when back at the crack of dawn...

to tell ya the truth i sat down planning to blog alot more but my eye lids weigh a tonne will get back to blogging tomorrow if time permits

luv me or hate me i dont give a dame...

matriculate

2009-12-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

what have i learnt from the whole ns experience .. ok i wont use the word 'whole' so would till date suffice .

i am actually kinda of grateful for this experience - who knew i could actually survive in a place with all boys and yet come out with all my element held up high. my cousin told me to toughen up before i go to ns and caring for others will not sit well with my other bunkmates - care a little less man up and dont give a fuck, in other words deny who am i be someone i am not - throw the bitchyness aside and just try to fit in with the masses

but hell that aint me - i stick out even when i dont want to - attention seeks me not the other way around - am i being to air headed and delusional when i type this - is there something wrong with me - does it take a third person to point out the flaws in my over analysing attitude and character...

in this sense i can proudly say the best way and soultion or attitude to bring to a new situation place or setting is TO BE YOURSELF

love me hate me i dont give a dame - its just like a song if you love me then THANK YOU and if you hate me FUCK YOU ....

BOY I FEEL SELF ABSORBED TYPING ALL THIS OKI NO MORE BITCHIN and for some reason i think i have gone terribly out of point while typing this ( badly of focus must be the morphine )

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oh ya talking about morphine i just when for a spinal fusion at l5s1 to curb wad i have been feeling for the longest time

before i knew i had to go for another op , just the idea of going for another op just destroyed me .good thing i found good frens and a good support system which helped me through that trying period

you know who you are peeps i owe the world to you
its it times like this where we know who our true frens are

and to a certain someone who i know will be reading this - if you think i should call you and tell ya abt my plight so you would call me back and wish me fuck you bitch....

Fireflies

2009-11-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

would it be crazy of me to stay NS is awesome

i have had so much fun made tonnes of like minded friends with similar physical ailments. enough to form a team ( team slipped ) pun intended

the last five weeks have breezed by so fast - and my bunk mates are effin awesome

a little summary abt each one

din - our bunk ic we didnt start on the right foot and yes oddities did exist and still do but boy can he clean . he is like a cleaning machine and does almost all the cleaning for our bunk which we are super grateful for

jon - ex blss school mate ,its good to see a familiar face when you go somewhere new . was fun drives an uber car which i set in twice gave me good advice abt dealing with a problem i had/have thanks dude...

dexter - yet another chao keng king with an ipod charger . a good fren which have the abilities to delete facebook accounts how cool is that - total tech kid...

daryl - an alcholic in the making , the only guy in bunk who saw me totally hammered and smashed did some crazy stuff all in one night ...

zi yang- affectionatly known as jippun for his beady little eyes and his japanese disposure currentlty serving confinement for having his sar 21 being stunned . loads of common topics as both of us are from SMA he is a DMR kid...

hafiz - the joker in bunk and a really good sock juggler and yes i did wax him with black cloth tape.

wei jie - an excellent fren who looks out for me and my well being and also the guy who introduced me to the wonderful world of thai disco . i consider myself lucky to have a fren like him

kash - fellow indian in bunk

wilson - my bed buddy extremly helpful but he worrys a little too much really good buddy and often bullied becos he is a little too nice.

jason - twd champion who is seriously protective of his frens thats so so so sweet of him really thankful for wad he has done that night at siam bbk . it was the first time where i felt that some felt i was worth fight for . made me feel special...

wee siang - my baby bro a cute guy the resident ah beng in my bunk - both book and street smart super protective of me . i owe him alot and some reason i feel indepted to him hope all things goes well with him and that everything go according to his plan .

weilong - the big papa in buck a good fren and a good buddy who looks out for me

vietnam - i have called him that so much the i forgot his really name , he smiles and nods thats about all he does ...

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to bleaker news

i am going for a spinal lumbar fusion on the 11 of dec will be in hospital for 8 days ... bummer but wad the hell i have to go through it..

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PARTY
MARTELL
GALS
SEX
BOOZE
CARS
LOVE
MONEY

EUPHORIA

dawning

2009-10-13T10:30:00.000-07:00

it has finally dawned on me - that this 8 mths of waiting will define just one moment in my life , the day i enlist into the army

it didnt dawn on me of the changes it will bring to me and my life style . the challenges i am going to face - the torment and agony of being fried under the sun - hey who am i kidding i have no idea what NS life is gonna be like for me... so many mixed reaction and comments for people who when through it , and like most things in life the reviews are mixed .

so say NS was the defining moment in their life - where they started to see things clearer ,where they said they met people from all walks of life and that their lifes were never the same - some unbreakable bonds were created while serving and that the core values of the SAF was with them forever and governed their lifes

Loyalty to Country

to think about it i am a very loyal person to my country - i hate it when anyone talks ill of it - hmm but will i give my life up for it hmm - lets wait and see

Leadership

i think i am a good leader - i dont see myself in a very authocratic stand point of view and neither am i laissez-faire i guess i am moderatly democratic and i take pride in whatever i do may it be leading a team in a discussion , teaching or selling Ice cream.

Discipline

hmm that i can work on

Professionalism

what i am thought i will try to do my level best - without complaining hmm that might be a little difficult , either way i will do my best

Fighting Spirit

i have lived with chronic pain for almost half of my life - i am one heck of a fighter aint nothing gonna break me down - i will count my fucking blessing if i have to but i am gonna fight fight fuck fight if i have to ( boy i feel good blogging )

Ethics

personal conduct should be second nature to me at least that what they are trying to teach me - you cant teach ethics you might be able to brand it onto skin but thats about it , it ends there nothing much ya can do abt it... you are either born with it or without it - period

Care for Soldiers

for the people who know me - knows that i take great pride in my friends and i am feircely territorial and i am anal about it . caring of anything that i can do... and i know i will do it well

theses is a before i enter ns and written with my current state of mine - the pure unadulterated version of what is going on in my mind.

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so far thank GOD for frens who say its gonna be fun and ns is gonna be an adventure and i bloody hell hope so - i guess i am one of the most perpared enlistee ever

i have sourced out enough information on what i am gonna go through the things i need and what to expect - darn i even know how i should pack my darn locker.

thank GOD for my cousin who gave me survival tips abt ns and rashid / kenneths constant encouragement - at times i fucking thing i am going over board with this...

fuck how bad can NS be - every guy i know have been through it and came out fine - and most of all it i can go through 2 weeks with out tramadol and function like a fucking normal human being i am FUCKING AMAZING

DONT BELIEVE ME THATS YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS

LIVE LIFE LOVE LIFE AND FUCK LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW

CHEERIOS

falling apart

2009-09-29T02:04:00.000-07:00

what would you do when it all falls apart ?

yesterday was the worse and best day of my life...

aint gonna talk abt the worse part of it but heck the good part of it is amazing.

when for dinner at manhill and had my fill of liver - i am so addicted to liver and i have developed a craving for turtle soup .i want it hot and i want it now... all the bitches in the house go crazy. had dinner with kenneth hv and hh dinner was followed by a nice stroll at labradore park - i am finally in tune with nature

i love the beach , i love graden and i wanna be immersed in it ...

as random as always and i sure you wont have believed what i did ...

i called jajaju up and we ended up prawn fishing it was freaking fuckfantastic i am so doing it again - suja did all the catching and yes it was so much fun

pics are up on facebook if anyone wanna see our catch...

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night ended with S11 carrot cake.

i wanna pass out at 3 wake up at 10 and do it all over again

asher roth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRVFfgoIKcg

new fav old song : ray of light by madonna

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8waV2G2lZs

obliteration

2009-09-23T21:09:00.000-07:00

wad can i say nothing much blog worthy has happened recently except for my room makeover.

YES PEOPLE I HAVE FINALLY THROWN AWAY MY DESK

i am going for a more zen look in my room

minimum clutter with clean straight lines - while watching the Oprah show i realised that all this junk which i am holding on to is holding me back...everything that i have not used in 3 months or more has to go - i have realized that i can live without alot of things. its high time i let go of so many things

only when the old goes it makes place for the new - i am glad, i am happy

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things i need to buy

white paint
2 seater couch
32inch Sony bravia
new curtains

i plan to pain a new mural in my room - inspiration come to me...

Le Amore

2009-09-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

love

–noun

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.sexual passion or desire.

4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

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as usual i was again rudely woken up by our dear ms tan hweihwei , anyway it was time to wake ok nevermind i starting to ramble....

got ready and left my house met her at chinese graden and made our way down to city hall to meet gim heng the organiser for today's outing . as usual people were late and as soon as they arrived we when to jasons market to get our picnic supplies

kinda bueno
water
and some buns from some bakery there

we took a cab down to botanic gardens - boy it has been a long time since i picniced there...
was purely amazing the greenery and just smelling the air perked me up - i was kinda worried cos we would have to be sitting on the floor and all but THANK GOD my back did not flare up ...
just sitting there and watching the world go by and so different from what i use to .

thank you gimheng it was excately wad i needed and i loved it...

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after hanging there we got hungry and made our way down to holland v and had dinner at swensens

interesting conversations aside it was fun loved it

when home abt 10ish

FINAL TRAMADOL COUNT 6

reflections

2009-09-20T02:49:00.000-07:00

when we look into a mirror do we have a choice to see what we want to see and more importantly is there a necessity to accept what we see -

REFLECTIONS
–noun

1.the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected.
2.an image; representation; counterpart.
3.a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.
4.a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.
5.an unfavorable remark or observation.
6.the casting of some imputation or reproach.

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i am gonna share with ya a recipe

homestyle breadpudding its extremely easy to make and i have done it several times both at home and at a class chalet is i am not wrong

things that you need

1 loaf of bread or 1 large french loaf
3/4 pack kara coconut milk
sugar to one's liking
1 cup of water
1 egg
1 tsp of all spice
cashew nuts ( lightly roasted )
rasins
salt
butter 100g

mash and mix into a clumpy mixture ( not too fine )

put mixture into round mole

there are 2 ways of cooking this

you could either steam it for 20 mins

or bake it for 30 min in a convection oven at 180 degrees

walah you are done...

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church was good i think i might have found out the answers for my questions

FINALLY...

Expeditions

2009-09-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

I wanted to wake up and send Kenneth and huivern a Bon voyage sms ... but i could wake up so anyway i think i did tell them to have a good trip . regardless i think they will have a good time... just hope not too good a time ...

anyway i stayed at home the whole day and as usual i was doped . the side effects are finally taking a toll on my body . i feel freaking pregnant and nauseous and the worse thing is the gastric darn that really sucks...

anyway this is my last entry talking about the pain i am facing - it is starting to play too big a part of my life and i have to irradiate it...

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any who i have two parties to attend on the 26th and because of that i cant go to mama's house darn wad a waste... doubt i will have a chance to go there anytime soon...

i miss my old life style of attending infamous parties and chilling out at amazing places darn wad ever happened to that old care free me. the come back is near and i can feel it ...

there are so many places in Singapore which i have yet to explore - several restaurants to eat at several bars to get drunk in ...

DANIEL YOU WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT ( NEW MANTRA )

with or without you

2009-09-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

today i was woken up by ms tan hwei hwei who told me to get ready in 15 mins - can ya imagine that... darn that woman.. any way dropped kenneth a msg and asked him to join us... she took half day by the way ... that gal deserved it . she swinged by to pick him up before meeting me...
as usual we had no clue where to go and suddenly we found ourself at science park...

where we had a switch of drivers as usual our resident princess prefers to be chauffeured than drive so ken took over the wheel and we ended at the Korean bbq restaurant and had the lunch special ... as usual i had the stone pot , he had the mackerel and she had the spicy chicken soup we chilled out there till they sort of chased us out and since we all were still in the mood to hang out we when down to haato somewhere near mount sinai... pretty place had drinks and waffles there...

i know more or less we do sound like gluttons by who gives a rats ass about it... we sent Kenneth back home so he could pack for his trip and we made our way down to IMM it feels like a long time since we spent time together... we shopped and guess wad she actually bought something ... which is a big deal if you know her. we when down to esprit and some random shoe shop.... retail therapy that wad i am talking about. it really perks a person up and you feel so good after .

TOTALLY ORGASMIC I HEART SHOPPING ....

we ended our day with desert at Kopitiam

i heart hanging out with peeps...

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randomisation

yesterday i was teaching a primary one maths class at xin nan primary school and i while checking the pupils work i came across something totally ridiculous

5 x 3 = 14

i had no idea how he got this answer - and i kept asking him how he got that answer and he repeatedly told me the same thing ...

i was so furious at him and just wanted to burst out at him when i looked at his name

guess what it was KENNETH TAN

I SO bursted OUT LAUGHING ...LOL

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22ND OCT I HAVE CHALLENGED MYSELF..
AIN'T TELL YA WAD TILL I WIN IN IT...

sweet surrender

2009-09-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a really bad bad day for me...

the pain got so bad i just cried and locked myself in my room which freaked my mother out big time. as usual she when ballistic and called my father and my aunt... talk abt express service he came back home and helped me up and brought me the the hospital

wad ever happens peeps never i repeat ever go to NUH if you are in extreme pain . unless you have a death wish then please go ahead. i had to wait almost a fucking hour in the cold without anyform of treatment before i could see a doctor and worse i could not even take my own meds cos they said i should not....

after an hour of waiting ...i finally got to see a doctor who then prescribed 3 injections for me

1) tramodol
2) VOLTRON
3) licnocain

at 196 bucks a pod ....

i was jabed 3 times and they told me it would only last for about 6 fucking hours wad the fuck was i suppose to do after . i was walking like a duck who was just shot in its ass... after a while they sent me back home and worse i was still in pain ....

i have learnt something from this experience if you are not rich enuf to afford private healthcare you are dead - pain relief is only for those who can afford it ... and the meds that an emergency clinic is mediocre and wad ever they have for pain relief i have tried and it did not work for me....
i was this close from shouting ouut loud saying " take out the big guns now " fuck .....

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i am blessed with good frens i really am - thanks ken for showing concern and bringing me out last night .... it really means alot to me.... i am gonna write you a huge ass thank you card really soon ....

i woke up today and i know today aint gonna be as bad as yesterday....

all i am doing is praying for a better day ..........

constantly losing faith
.: daniel :.

farked

2009-09-14T02:38:00.000-07:00

IT WAS WRONG FOR ME TO BLAME GOD FOR MY PAIN

today was a bad day for me , i knew it when i had a problem getting off my bed today. is this a punishment for wad i typed yesterday. sometimes i wish that we could touch someone and let them feel wad i am feeling. i hurt so so so much...

i cant sit down or walk or sleep without without feeling the pain ....

i have been dopeing myself with so much painkillers since i was 12 and now nothing is working anymore....

and worse of all i walk like a duck with something up its ass

fuck the world fuck painkillers....

fuck you james hui

cease my soul

2009-09-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

angst

i am i so filled with rage , why do i feel this way - i have a feeling that i am going to lose a fren becos of our differences. i know i am different , my views on morality , sexuality , Christianity all vary from what you ( the norm ) believe. i have a feeling a fight is inevitable i am one message away from a total blow up. shit i have no idea why i am allowing to get to me.

this is not who i am , yet i am so comfortable in that skin . yes i know its wrong and know the right thing to do i change and yet i see no need to. i am not attacking what ever he says , i think i lose several people in the quest of knowledge. was it wrong for me to ask such questions , am i allowed to speak up and share my opinions ? or am i suppose to suppress them and take the back seat like i always have

i know it sounds all girly and all but i really wish this friendship last.

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if you are reading this and i think you will - it just feels that i don't fit in there or anywhere anymore

i know that you will be all that you said you will be and so much more , be strong , be brave , be all that you can be

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i know when i am being used though i smile and talk to you - and yet i still enjoy the feeling of being trampled upon... aiya it aint even worth it talking to you any more ( only required when you need my help for your gain ) ....

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GOD on high hear my prayer
hear my prayer
in my need
you have always been there

dont turn your back on me now
ok great father of all nations
you have granted me peace and
and taken it all way at the same time

all hope is destroyed for me
i use to say count your blessings
name them one by one and yet
now i feel that i have non yet in mylife

all good things are around us are sent
for you above - and all pain and sufferings
are cause of sin. why do i have a problem
believing that anymore...

though art the GOD that giveth and taketh
away - take my unbearable pain away dear
lord i have tried almost everything
submitted all to you and yet i have no relief

i have no idea where my faith is turning to
more towards you are further away from you
, the more closer i wanna get closer to you
my pain and Karna desires tear me away from you

help me oh great healer
help me oh great healer
or take me up to oblivion
i have no more desire for
life anymore

to all an illusion

2009-09-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

blogging bug is back

when for dinner with the ccf peeps - somehow why do i feel that i dont fit in with them at all. chong ching hot pot at suntec aint as nice as the one at tanglin but who gives a darn. i just stick out like a soar thumb when i am with them, i dont knoe why. maybe its the vast difference in age or our different views abt the christian faith . why do i even bother wanting to fit in with ppl who think being gay in an abomination and that the female gender should be suppressed becos the bible tell you so and the preaching of male superiority is prevalent...

i have so many issues abt the christian faith nowdays - its not that i am all out for blood its just that i do not agree to several things that are preached and its really hard for me to get my answers . the pursuit for religious knowledge is an endless journey....

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just a couple of days ago we has our penang holiday echo at kennneths place...

i like hanging out at his place its a total bachelor pad i wish i had one - but mine would be a little bit different first of all my walls would be pastal with beautiful louis IV furniture and AIRCONDITIONING with a coffee table.... ok i know it might be a little too much hey but its my dream oki...

i am not spoilt just well taken care of.....

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gh came to stay over at my place... yesterday... and we had a really good time discussing the decay of morality in todays world with hh

anyway 2 birthday parties today ... shit i missed the sleep over at saraj's house i so wanted to go ...darned fuck la i need to get my priorities straight...

perturbation

2009-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

friends

something my mother said struck a cord in me she said " you dont need so many frens few good ones are more than enough "

how very true

the good lord has blessed me with several good frens whom i treasure alot. it is not everyday you get to make good frens...and they dont come by easily either...

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last sunday was divya's wedding and boy were we busy . as usually my cousins and i had to do the headless chicken routine. it wasnt fun at all

pics will be up soon

i love weddings and planning them make them all the more interesting ... i just might have a future in wedding planning or at least party planning...

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momo is now in cambridge and karunan is off to the london school of economics... uber cruel twist of fate on my end ... i am really gonna miss my momo afterall we were childhood pals and certain frenship last forever ryte...

i had a really enjoyable time hanging out with hid rashid mel and we soon we are gonna be meeting up for mels bdae...

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i have tried several time to quit _________
but everytime i wanna go away from it , there is this force pulling me back into its traps . i know its wrong and i know it is gonna affect me physically and emotionally . i feel like a fucking sado masochist . i have promised her i would stop alll of this is 2 years but something tells me this is only going to intensify darn i hate this feeling ....

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do i have to cut myself to feel alive...

Requiem generous

2009-09-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

have ya ever wondered why the most beatiful things about person are only said after person dies... why is that the case why not appreciate the living and tell them how you feel . shit happens you know

( that was an extract of a conversation i had with one of my frens )

i so totally agree with this statement ... there is no higher honour than the word thank you as thank you is wad we tell God - Dr maya angelou

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i have several things to be grateful for -

1) sucessfully graduating from singapore poly

2) earning my own money and going on a holiday

3) loving parents

4) Arcoxia

i have been teaching in xinan primary school lately .and i love it. teaching is so much fun and its more fun to teach lower primary than upper primary... and i taught the 9 times table to a pri 2 class they were amazed when they found out that all the answers laid in their very fingers.

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couple of notatble things i did so far

working as a ice cream promotor for walls signiture series ice cream

to tell ya the truth i loved that job - yeah its unconventional but i have leant alot more in that 6 week stint than i ever learnt on a desk. dealing with customers understanding their psyche , picking up buying signals and finally closing the deal - there is alot more than eye can see - hey wad heck i even got myself the statment of attainment for the singapore institue of retail studies...

going to penang

wouldnt considered an impluse decision ... cos the tickets were book like 2 mths before we when there - five of us when on the trip

kennenth - hmm wad can i say abt kenny , its surprising that we cliqued after the church camp all thanks to common interest i think . even though i dont tell this to him and( i dare type it here cos i doubt he would ever read this is )he is a really smart person and i seldom say that. he is really a guys guy in primal way.but the thing is we have really very different opinions on several topics which include the acceptance of homosexuals in society - GOD - The bible - pastor issac's last weeks message in church that kinda stuff.... and somehow he always have a ready explaination or answer aand the thing i like abt him is that he does not give the standard the bible/pastor tells you so and just suck it up and listen ... in an odd sense/way he sort of made me wanna come to church . i better stop on that or this entry will never end
back to the penang part - his daddy has a condo there at gurny uber close to the beach and shopping centre spot on in the prime area more imptly a stone throw away from the bars and cafes he graciously opened his place and we saved tonnes on hotel money... ya and one thing he is a happening/quirky drunk person

sharen sim - kenneths cousin only met her twice and the thrid time we were on a plane to holiday ,when i first met her she felt a tad snobbish for my taste little did i realise that she was a really fun person to hang out who was really outspoken ,wad can i say she is a lawyer afterall.she too is a quirk drunk person who riverts to a british accent when she drinks which was so so so cute.... lol to max

huivern - a fren i met in church only found out of her existance after ccf. a nice sweet gal to makes food improvers/stablizers/defomers for a living .... ya kinda weird but ya she is into food RND

and finally my best buddy

tan hweihwei- i never tell this enuf to her at least that she means alot to me and how she looked after me when i got out after my op is something i will never forget in my life and hanging out with ya is alway always fun and i am sure you know this i only scream at ya becos i love ya ALOT . you are truly an amazing fren and yes when i see you , you brighten up my day

ya this was a little something abt the ppl i travelled with

we arrived on friday and departed on monday we had loads of gastronomical delights and a little too much booze on sat and yes tau sa piah...the picks are up on facebook...

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deadsea scroll exibit

wAd A TOTAL RIP OFF THAT ALL I CAN SAY

BOY ITS FEELS GOOD TO BLOG AGAIN AFTER TOO LONG A HAITUS

2009-06-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

i know it has been a long time since i last wrote here ... i just suddenly had the urge to write again. there was a time when i use to blog everyday , it always felt like a routine activity in my daily life and never a chore , as time goes things change - emotions change - feelings change - forms change

as the saying goes the only constant in life is change

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absolution

2009-02-19T22:56:00.000-08:00

i am lying on my bed now and after the longest time i have feel that the time has come to blog again.yet after a super long haitus i am back and yes i am an unofficial graduate of singapore poly . have i done it ? have i made it ? only time will tell ...

wad have learnt in the last 3 years

frends choose them wisely or else you will regret it at least till your 3 yrs are up. choose your group mates wisely and always communicate . put your differences aside cos it aint helpin anyone and at the end of the day it is you that feels miserable.

give and take thats it something which i have to master . always know that you will never receive as much as you give out EVER let it be love or money... and always put on your heart guard as you will never know when you will get hurt and when you do it softens the blow.

you do not need a army of frens to survive . a couple of good frens trumps a million aquaintances anytime .

emotionally have i grown hmm .

have i ?

one thing which i have learnt is that i am and forever will be my bestest fren and that should be the case for each and everyone. you have to look after yourself the most yes screw self-sacrifice the guy that came up with that bullshit is dead.... each man for himself ( that the creed )

and let it be ... i have a fren who has so much shit running in life but her attitude to life is a big let it be .. aint that fantastic if only everyone could be like that would the world be an amazing place

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i have been listening to some songs and would like to share some snipets with ya

i'm here ( the colour purple )

I'M GONNA TAKE A DEEP BREATH
.GONNA HOLD MY HEAD UP.
GONNA PUT MY SHOULDERS BACK
,AND LOOK YOU STRAIGHT IN THE EYE.
I'M GONNA FLIRT WITH SOMEBODY
WHEN THEY WALK BY.I'M GONNA SING OUT .
.
.SING OUT.I BELIEVE I HAVE INSIDE OF ME
EVERYTHING THAT I NEED TO LIVE A BOUNTIFUL LIFE.
WITH ALL THE LOVE ALIVE IN ME
I'LL STAND AS TALL AS THE TALLEST TREE.AND I'M
THANKFUL FOR EVERYDAY THAT I'M GIVEN,
BOTH THE EASY AND HARD ONES I'M LIVIN'.BUT MOST OF ALL
I'M THANKFUL FOR
LOVING WHO I REALLY AM.
I'M BEAUTIFUL
.YES, I'M BEAUTIFUL,
AND I'M HERE.

its really powerful worlds and i wish i could adopt it in my life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIbgFc9TLaY

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wad have i done since i graduated ...

partyin boozin lazing around aint proud of it but ... wtheck

i am going to phuket from the 24th to 27th
and would be staying at the grand mecure patong five min from the beach...

cant wait... updates soon ...

poojie dedication

2008-10-20T04:20:00.000-07:00

my dearest darling poojie thanks so much for your dedication entry and i think it is only befitting if i do the same for you too

pooja gulati wrote

this is for you, daniel.

i miss you. i miss just knowing that if i'm ever in some kind of trouble, someone has my back no matter what. that's the kind of friend you are. you don't judge me no matter how many times i make the same mistake over and over. you just keep pushing me to hold my head up high while you yourself are going through so much. i'm sorry baby i can't be there to help you along with this phase of your life. i am sorry i'm not there on thursdays with you to go to dbl0 and get trashed out of our minds. you have many wonderful friends out there who are far better than me, but i'm glad you chose me to be the one to tell your problems to. i love you! :) and i don't kid when i say that, you're the best.

**************************************************

to my dearest poojie..

our meeting was by chance and i thank GOD for that . you have comforted me when i was down . and you gave me a listening ear when i needed one the most . you have brought so much joy into my life and i am grateful for that . your witty jokes , your amazing smile , your big brown eye linered eyes i miss them all. aint no mountian high enough ,aint no valley low enough ,aint no oceans wide enough and no forces strong enough to waver the love we have for each other. i miss you so much. GOD bless his soul for the inventer of skype. BABY this is a promise i pledge to you

- i will always be there for you ;
- i will always support your decisions ;
- and i will forever treasure your frenship

have an amazing time in IU

sending you all the love in the world
daniel

the dawn of ages

2008-07-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

ages thats the word.. it sure has been ages since i last wrote in this blog . some how i am compeled to do so . i know sure sounds weird ryte : as if an external force is possesing me to write...

hmm shit loads have happen since the last time i blogged but instead on focusing on that let me just be happy and write abt all the happy happenings that happened so far... my written english is of the same standard of drain water now ... madness

last september while working at my attachment company i came across this website ( couchsurfing.com ) its like this major net working project which connects backbackers
around the world with hosts to which ever country they want to go to . its works something like this - say you would want to go to karkow poland on a budget and would like to find a host there willing to host you during your stay there . all you have to do is go to this website and do a couch search . its up to you to then email the contact and ask them if they will be able to host you . yeah if everything goes well you would have both made new fren in another country , save hell loads of money and get to know other amazing places where the travels guides fail to mention. through this webbie i got to know a guy named Zak thorup from canada who is on a world trip .he crashed at my place for abt 8 days before continuing on his journey.. it was sure fun having him around . endless boozing session. overnight sessions at jurong hill.. that was sure fun.. hmm like all good things it also had to come to an end . but is was sure great when it lasted .

so soon as he left on his leg of the journey i left on mine. i was holidaying at the swiss garden resort and spa... but boy it was sure a screwed up holiday. prior to my holiday i had my wisdom tooth removed caused it hurt to bad. and when i when on my holiday it got infected arrr unbearable... i so wanted to go home .. but thank GOD the hotel staff booked me an appt with the dentist and it was all back to normal... thank GOD for that.... i did not do much except for relaxin and chilling... and can you imagine the holiday was a dry one... not a single drop of booze....

i came back on a sunday and left to batu bahat on monday no rest at all but i had to see kumar before he when to uni as i will not be seeing him for 4 yrs .. sobz .. but i am sure he is gonna enjoy it there. take care dude ...
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soon after was zhangke party sure was different .. and i knoe better that to blog about it here . as i am sure it would fall into certain ppls ears

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hey and my babys are back from the states ... had an enjoyable time meeting all of the at indo holland v last friday . some crazy conversations and it was nothing short of raunchy...

i cant wait to meet all of them again. dbl o here we come... it is gonna be sheer madness...

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CAN you imagine meeting my dearest bestie ana after all this time .. take care my darls

i will always pray for your well being ...

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and talking abt darling my dearest frens are expecting and the baby is 100 mm now..

anya( grace ) is her name .

i have to start buying baby clothes .. cant wait... to see her in dec .

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with contentment
daniel...

for pics check out my facebook profile..

a new time has come

2008-02-17T18:39:00.001-08:00

hey everyone ....

ya as if there is anyone reading this anymore.... i know i have not blogged in a really long time but it high time i started again. only now is there things worth blogging about i feel that my world and life is renewed once again . just like the pheonix that rises from the ashes ( ok where did that come from )

have been doing loads of thinking/drinking recently and have decided that it is high time i have a positive change in my lifestyle ... all my life i feel that i was living the life other expect of me .. and it is high time that i start doing the things i want. i am the best person to satisfy my every whim and fancy ...

i am greatly thankful for the life that i am living and am totally blessed with an excellent family. A mum that understands me a father that provides and leave me alone and a sister...who can ask for more - a perfect family unit . and i adore my friends totally - started hanging out with alvin and al farny lads and their friends which i met during valentines day ...

i am so totally in the mood to shop and buy myself clothes and shop - but there is nothing here except for shrubs and sand cant wait to get back in spore i got a flight for this friday ... will be back home sooner than i thought ....

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i need to right some wrongs that i have committed over yesteryears ....

can you belive it that a gal with totally thick skin called me and asked me if we could meet up soon ... if you think thats ever gonna happen think again sucker that is something that i am not going to get myself into ever again took me almost a year to get over you the last time ... i have so much more in life since you been gone... i am a single 20 yr old boy who is too young to get into anything thats worth a dime ....

i wonder how is my cosco shares coming along the comes here are ultimately lousy ....

in sickness

2007-09-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps

i know this is the longest haitus i ever took ... but i think is high time i started blogging again . i feels great to be back and everythings just wonderful ...

i always seem to have a song in my head either it be a christian song or any thing random but wad more can i say abt myseld i am randomness personified and i am loving every moment of it... following the words of the wise lily allen everythings just wonderful i having time of my live recuperating at home .....

for thoses who do not know i when for a disectomy the removal of a prolapsed disc in my spine and spinal cord realined .... with all that junk out now i am living a life without pain ... the last 6 yrs of torture had finally ended life not many ppl knew abt my pain till it got kinda bad in the past few months . but going for this op really showed my who my TRUE FRENS ARE ....

i am not going to point my fingers or name anyone here cos its not going to mean anything anymore ... something that i have learned is to asess my bounty of fren and weed out the unwanted i have made it a point only to love thoses who love and cherish me .... i aint gonna share my love and waste it on unessary ingrits ...

the pain is subsiding but would i be school worthy on the 24th ... hmmm only time will tell

in my times of trials it is a fact that your true frens shine.... and mine and my darlings from bktg ... thank you for your unconditional love support and care love ya to bit

and a special thanks to my princess kinah dayah and ananthi for coming to my place bearing gifts of milk and biscuits

and to hajar bindu and jega for coming and spending time with me ,,,

thank you truck loads
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count your blessings
name them one by one
count your many blessing see wad God had had
count your blessings name them one by one
count your many blessing see wad God had done

i so need to be pampered rite now

i have been forced to drink fish essense in the morning
and bird nest at nite...

wad a life

kl trip

2007-08-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps

if there is anyone out there . it has been a really long time since i last blogged . and found out that the last entry was during mother's day .alot has happened since them . my frenship with the bk ppl has blossomed like a rose in the touch of spring

i have experienced first hand on how tough working life could be but also have learnt how to keep myself sane . nowdays i look forward to work willing and ready to take wad ever is thrown at me .

it has also been a jorney of self discovery but thats for another day . my attachment would be ending in another 9 wrking days boy i am going to miss this place and the wonderful ppl here . i will particularly miss my boss who constantly cranked at all hours of the day .....

recently i when on a trip with ben , hwei hwei , fiq , seng and pat

yes the just the 6 of a us but we had a blast that could rival an atomic blast . it is not where we go that is important it is who we go with that makes all the difference .

and i went with a group of angels

my fav uncle ben even though i disagree on his underaged dressing he is one of the best fren any kid could have

if ya ever need a person to talk to his is the guy to go to . a true father figure not only to me but to everyone in bk ... his care for others also make me feel like a true sinner

me and hweihwei a true cynic but as soon as you get to know her you will totally dig her beware she bites

a pic of pat and seng . thanks pat for organising the transportation and for always looking out for us

affiq and ben can this couple get any cuter

thats is in a monorail our mode of transport in kl

i totally love this pic i don think i look too drunk and boy i have a nice leg ( ben would refer to it as bacon though )

and another family pic

i had to pus her away she was crampin my style

me at the pool thanks affiq i really felt like a porn star opps i mean rock star he took pics of me on q thanks dude

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more update soon

mummy's day tribute

2007-05-13T18:34:00.001-07:00

this i am writing for the woman who i think is perfect in all that she do , she i my one and only mother. the sweet dearie that brought me up from the day that i was born till forever....i love her so much that the clouds would not be able to contain , i love her more than the waters in the sea. i love her as much more than the universe combine ... she has been there when i took my first step , she was there when to primary school and she fetched me there everyday, she was there when i fell- she streched out her loving arms to pick me up and comfort me with her soothing words of comfort , wisdom , love , peace , joy and warmth . when i was down she felt down . when i was happy she was there to rejoice with me .all the thanks and all the treasures in this world would not be able to express the love that she had shown and showered upon me . i love heri am really sorry for making you worry so much about me, all the naughty things that i had done . though you shout and yell at me i do knoe that deep inside your care and concern is there. i do defie you but i knoe that you always put up with it....mummy i love you today is your day may everything go well and may the good lord preserve you .....

sick

2007-05-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

life in general

is there much to say about it . hmm i wonder .... i am at work now , just yesterday i found out that i could access portnet at home ... how exciting so now i can bring home my work and do it at home ( and force my sis help me )lol

a sense of nostalgia has overwhelmed me - cant elaborate much but this i can say people change and not always for the better

the friends i once had i have them no more
the things that i used to do i do them no more
the fun i use to have i have them no more
the love i once had i have that no more

i am so much like peter pan minus his powers - i don wanna grow up

where is my utopian shangri-la....

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i have lost my flare to write . i feel so different and i totally hate the new me . i am more self-conscious and i hate it

at times i wonder why am i doing the things i do

i wanna breakaway

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my birthday

lets just not talk abt that

i feel so un-appreciated and thats that

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toddles
daniel

birthday

2007-04-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

go danny its your birthday we gonna sip barcadi as its your birthday

ya like real lol i am at work rite now and the load is being a total bitch i am very sure all the ship capts pakat together to make my life miserable . fug them one by one galangal ok enuf of that. my life now has been risticted to work and home and bk arr wad happen to my once carefree life style ... i will be changing dept on the 2nd to do transhipment i heard that the work load is worse but i think i am up for it. thank you mummy for paying for my gym membership and grands for the pendant love ya to bits .i am blogging during work as my vsls are only coming after lunch so still can slack at bit....

the sweet ppl of bk celebrated my dae last friday and i cut my cake hold tims hand he was so happy . i love them to bits

i really miss my drinking buddies but i just do not have the time or energy to meet them .i want this to be over so badly.arr is this wad wrking live suppose to be like .

when to wikipedia and i saw this

On this day...
April 26: World Intellectual Property Day.

1865 - Boston Corbett shot and killed John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of U.S. President Abraham Lincoln.
1925 - Paul von Hindenburg (pictured) defeated Wilhelm Marx in the second round of the German presidential election, becoming the first directly elected head of state of the Weimar Republic.
1937 - Spanish Civil War: The bombing of Guernica in Spain by the Condor Legion of the German Luftwaffe resulted in a devastating firestorm.
1964 - Tanganyika and Zanzibar merged to form Tanzania.
1986 - Chernobyl disaster: A nuclear reactor in Chernobyl, Ukraine suffered a steam explosion, resulting in a fire and a nuclear meltdown.

April 26 is the 116th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar (117th in leap years). There are 249 days remaining in the year. It is the first day following the spring equinox which cannot be Easter Sunday in Western Christianity

cool huh check this out then http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/26_April

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ok back to work
toddles

i am back

2007-02-19T08:08:00.000-08:00

i was thinking about a musical i once watched 'the portrait of the empress ' it is one of the very few musicals written from the view point the main character . she was so misunderstood all thanks to the prowess of the bloody british people who used the press to poison the minds of the people of china and that itself lead to the fall of china .

why do people always believe wad they read .
why do people judge even before they hear the whole story
why are people at time so much like dogs

i know this is totally random and stuff ...
but screw you i don give a rats ass about wad you think

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just came back from my getaway at msia
i just love my uncles place it freaking huge with a jungle just a short 10 mins away... i climbed utan limpoon pretty mountain with a great view of batu pahat ..loved with ... played in the rain jumped into a water fall and did loads of crazy stuff i will blog abt it another day ...

bb

valentines

2007-02-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

hiya peeps sorry for the long delay

had lots of problem logging on but now its oki... i just had to upgrade it to the goggle thingy but enuf of that

my mummy came back from her long holiday with my dad and guess wad she bought for me 2 shirts and a bottle of RUM . i just love my mummy , the pics she took was just beautiful. i wanna go to africa or bora bora....i need more $$$$

i am gonna start my mt attachment with star shipping agency on the 26th at shenton way ...soon the monotony of going to wrk will set in . i have always looked forward to wrking but somehow the flare seems to have died of when i see peoples dreams dashed when they start working . will that happen to me .... hmm

valentines plans when great . thats all wad i am gonna say . wad happens over dinner stays at dinner.... hehehe you should get wad i mean ********
luv ya to bits ....

leaving to msia this sat will be back on monday . will be missing out on certain parties .... how unfortunate of me. shall be random now .. i love my mummy she is the bestest mommy in the whole wide world . and she bought me a hot pink zen neon 2 .... to my trueself .. luv her so so so so so so so so much .

BKTG opened its new blog ... i promise to blog more often

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and i would like to make it clear to ppl who are unsure about valentines
day . you have got it totally wrong if you think its a christian related event ...

interesting email

2007-01-28T08:09:00.000-08:00

hiya peeps i received a mail from a fren of mine abt personality and its relations to the first alphabet or zodiac sign . and mine was freakyly TRUE

Does your name begin with: D

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude.

Does your name begin with: S

For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

APRIL

Active and dynamic
Decisive and haste but tends to regret
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Strong mentality
Loves attention
Diplomatic
Consoling
Friendly and solves people's problems
Brave and fearless
Adventurous Loving and caring Suave and generous
Emotional
Revengeful
Aggressive
Hasty
Good memory
Moving Motivate oneself and the others
Sickness usually of the head and chest
Easily get too jealous

Taurus Turn ons

Stability and dependability characterize Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of color and music. Judge the life with them from purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.

Turn offs Taurus

is very slow to anger (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him into a corner and if you do be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though this is on very rare occasions. If you have a roving eye forget it because Taurus have can take the cake when it comes to being possessive. They can be suffocating when being possessive about you.

all the bolded parts are of wad i think describes me .... if ya spot anything that i did not not bold ... tag me oki... miss ya

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EXAMs ARE OVER
enuf said one year down 2 more to go...

listening to the song beautiful by christina . that is song is just so perfect . i think everyone should listen to it and reflect upon the lyrics .and give it a chance to speak to you

breaking away

2007-01-10T04:39:00.000-08:00

Hiya peeps has been sometime since I last blogged . school has started and I am so not hyped about it . somehow I am still in my holiday mood and I so not interested in school. I have no idea wad am I doing with my life . I have so many questions and so little answers. Why must life be such a drag . I want to travel the word , I wanna have bread in France and coffee in brazil sushi and japan and xiao long boa in china nasi lemak in msia and green curry in Thailand……

Oki I am sure while reading this you all must think I am such a pig talking about food in a time like this . but it is experience . thinking about it , it has been almost a year since I am been helping out at bk and the people there are lovely and are so nice to me. Wad more can I ask for when I have frens like them . they have been bothered to actually ask me how I have been and if I need help when the people who I thought actually care did not bother at all. Life is such a boring routine I wanna break out of it . I wanna breakaway ( totally know who Kelly felt when she sand the song )

Grew up in a small townAnd when the rain would fall downI just stared out my windowDreaming of what could beAnd if I'd end up happyI would pray (I would pray) Trying not to reach outBut when I'd try to speak outFelt like no one could hear meWanted to belong hereBut something felt so wrong hereSo I pray (I would pray)I could breakaway

[Chorus:]I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to flyI'll do what it takes til' I touch the skyI'll make a wish Take a chance Make a changeAnd breakawayOut of the darkness and into the sunBut I won't forget all the ones that I lovedI'll take a riskTake a chance Make a changeAnd breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breezeSleep under a palm treeFeel the rush of the oceanGet onboard a fast train Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)And breakaway [Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floorsSwinging around revolving doorsMaybe I don't know where they'll take me butGotta keep moving on, moving onFly away, breakaway I'll spread my wingsAnd I'll learn how to flyThough it's not easy to tell you goodbyeI gotta take a risk Take a chanceMake a changeAnd breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sunBut I won't forget the place I come fromI gotta take a riskTake a chance Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

This is how I feel . all I want is for you to talk to me . be with me ,help me and_____ me

To my darling you know who you are . it aint over till the fat lady sings … take care

a brand new yr

2007-01-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

hiya peeps this would be the first blog entry for the new yr. but i think i should tie up some lose ends for the last year so i would be able to put it all behind me. to tell ya the truth this entry is inspired by mel by secondary classmate.

2006 has been a rather tuff year for me . so many horrid memories about people i totally hate, but something my aunt told me made me realise that the energy i put into hating someone is a complete waste . i should channel my energy to improving my live not destorying it. so i have made up my mind .and this is wad i wanna say " I FORGIVE ALL THOSES THAT HAVE HURT ME " I am in peace with myself . and i am deeply sorry for hurting you thats if i did .... thats abt it for the bad.a note to someone - i don have to explain to you anything the decisions i make are my business who the fug are you , i will do wad i want ....

THE BLESSING

thank God for everything good and beautiful. God has blessed me with a group of ppl that will be the envy of many. and thanks hid for introducing me to BKTG ( basic knowledge training group for thoses who don know wad it it ) my saturdays will never be same , every saturday a new challenge. the volunteers there are the major driving force for me to keep going back. andy and fanhan and hweihwei kelvin you are my driving force . thanks so much and a special thanks to fanhan who met me and talked to me and held my hand literally when i needed someone to be there for me. there is actually alot that i want to pour out but i have not found a person who will not judge me and accept me for the way i am . am i asking for to much . and the best part abt bktgians is that they are like a big family and they all love and look after me. how perfect can that get .ben has made me go back to the gym something i thought i will never do ever .. but i did a full body pump session which left me sore fore the next 6 days...

i just love my jtps fren they have known me for more than 13 yrs now. the frenship from the bud of innocence. will last for ever... love ya peeps

school has been a whole different game. the flase fronts have made its mark, the cliques have been established .and if you are not in one ... too bad. frens are not wad they seem . some are lovable and some can be a pain in the rectum . cant blame it human nature to err.projects and test are piling up . good team mates are impt .

family
my relationship with my family is still rather strain... i feel like a stranger at home . how i wish at times i could escape into my own little world where nobody shouts or talks too loud . how i wish i could live in a castle in a cloud . i am starting to love my sister even more now. but i still cant get use to her legendary lorry driving skills. lorries and gals wad a horrid combi... but she seems to love it . who am i to judge . i love my mum and dad. my maternal granny seems to be the only normal preson in my whole extended family . the rest are just either poor wack jobs or rich crackpots...

myself
now when ppl ask me out for a drink the next questions that pops into my mind would be wad kind. thats so totally wrong...to cut down on drinking and start to deal with the biggest problem of my life MYSELF . to spend less -save more money .i will never allow myself to be hurt once again

my resolutions for the year/to do list before 07 ends would be

to learn not to hate and embrace life
find a Good fren
study harder than before
let go a bunch or frens
climb KKB and annapurana
lose weight
*the rest are personal
*
*
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do read wad i write but don discuss mylife i hate that and don ask me questions abt wad i blog i hate that most .... and please do tag after you read a simple hi would mean a lot to me

i have a whole year ahead of me I WILL NOT FAIL THIS TIME

i wish i could be your fren again ________

christmas eves eve

2006-12-23T06:57:00.000-08:00

today is the 23 rd of december the day before the eve of christmas .

christmas the season of giving
the season of pleasure
the season of euphoria

ok i shall stop here it is soo starting to sound wrong

christmas party at mama house is so goona be great and it has not even started . let me give you a little sneak peak into wads gonna happen tomorrow

starts of with the signing of the naughthy and nice list
followed by the gastronomical christmas cuisines
- leg of lamb
- turkey
- beef
- ham
ect.. ect ... ect ...

then comes the booze and from there .... ok i don know where it would lead....lol thats the part of her partys that i love more.

christmas at home on the 25th would be nice too ...
lesser amount of booze but maybe more fun...
i just love Christmas

belive

2006-12-18T15:52:00.000-08:00

hiya everybody

i doubt anyone reads my blog , but just in case any one stumble across it heres an entry. my absense from this site is excusable i have been blogging in a private blog and since that is out in the open . PLEASE do not ask me for the link . thank you very much

there is alot of things i would like to say but where do i start , how do i judge wad is blog worthy and wad is not. i am confused half the time. my mind is in is constant battle with my body - if that ever makes any sense.
emotions

happyness

i have been very happy lately maybe its becos it is the more greatest of seasons ( the season of giving ) christmas . you can feel it in your heart all you have to do is feel the season, if you don know wad it is like i will give ya a hint - it is the warm fuzzy when you get into your warm bed , it is like the nostagia of looking at old pictures , it s the feeling when you are holding a warm cup of milo on a cold rainy day . i have been meeting up with mama and nikki planning the annual christmas party boy thats gonna be a blast boozing and feasting till the wee hours of the morning . thats so gonna rock cant wait

sadness

my grandmum came back from india few days ago . i heard that she had a heart attack there . she has not been the same after the open heart surgery . she is not the same lady who held my small hands and ran across the road. the lady who once stood tall is now all weak and feeble . the way she hides the pain in her bones just to tell me that she is alrite i just love her so much - even when she was in india she called me to ask me if i had eaten and told me to study well. even when she was there her heart was here in singapore . wad would i have done if i had found out that she had died in india . i wouldnt have the chance to tell her how much i love and adore her, i wouldnt have lost the chance to thank her for all the magic and love she had given to each of her grandchildren......

anger

i shant elaborate too much on this emotion . i have put you behind me . i don need you anymore . i have all wad is need and you mean nothing to me now. i hate you , you have hurt me and i hate you for that , i will never forgive you and thats that, outsiders don ask me anything abt this

love

more like love LOST

friendship

never can a person on this earth be blest with the kind/bunch of frens i have both is school and home . my most treasured primary school fren , my loveable secondary frens and now my adorable SMA kahkis not to mention all my frens outside of school ....

but at the same till not to sound to cliche who are my frens , who do i classify frens . what are true frens , wad is the true meaning of a best fren , wad does it mean to be comforted by a fren ..... thank God i have a life time to figure out that

________________________________________

5na1 class chalet this thursday and friday will it ever be like last time . saw ravinder at LJS in JP . it somehow felt different it felt distant . i was in this dudes class for 5 years... why i just don understand. i hope i don feel too out of place at the chalet . i miss them alot actually ppl still in school read this carefully choose your frens wisely for these are the ppl will will be behind you for the rest of your life at least ( thats wad i think ) how do ppl keep frenship for years on end . wad is the secret ....

the singaporean winter is here the thunder and lightings are just telling us that this year is ending and a new year is dawning . lets all pray that next yr will be a better year for all . may it be filled with joy love and Christ.

i will pray for you pam this is a promise

leave your stardust to remember you by

party add

2006-10-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps i have been doing some serious partyin and boozing over the past two days .it has been so fun i have no idea where to been to begin ...complete sheer madness

friday after school when back change when to see isabelle then met mama hear her place then when to dino's cafe to collect nikki's cake then when back to polo club to celebrate nikkis party. like all of mama's planned bdae parties this party was fantabulous /scandelous ( with pam around ) and her crazy fren ian and jialing... booze when freeflow ....trash talking wine buffets kumar and loads of other madness ... we partyed with a capital P ...lol.... nikki was so cute in her bebe dress ..... i became and usher with darren and zhangke it was like so so so so fun ....lol more like mike tutara
cab backed with pam jialing and ian ..ian was so totally trashed... i am so happy that kumar is getting married i ... so totally happy for him

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sat was suja an sumi's twenty first bdae... happy bdae darlings i was a usher there is also ... mummy bought me a shirt from valentino she is uber sweet ...love her to bits ... the party was great the food was great the Deejay rocked . shaked booty with pat anisa and vin those are the carziest gals ever... wanted to go amaran but it cocked up .. but boozed at the party all my uncles and daddy and family were all in the high clouds ... as drunk as a sailor ...lol....

i need a serious detox routine ...

till next time

nikki's bdae

2006-10-27T00:52:00.000-07:00

while watching everwood on tv i had the sudden urge to blog... i have been havin the craziest week this month ..... so many outing with great frens, the cruise . the endless partyin and starbucks . liang court i think is gonna be my second home... even with all this happiness school is still being a bitch ....met up with vin to shop for jewellery for suge and sume.... thier b dae is tomolo i just cant wait.

this month is full of bdaes.....such a happy month. there is so much that is happening in my life and i would really like to type abt it all but if i do i have no idea where to start from..... i am so blessed with the most wonderful bunch of frens, never forget the most lovable ppl from BKTG . the most friendliest bunch on non racist ppl ever . i just love them so so so so so so much

polo club here i come so love since i when there and had fun ...the horses the place ...miss it all . i miss isablle too.... preety little thing . later tonight will be heading down to nikki bdae....

happy b dae to you
happy b dae to you
happy b dae to nikki
happy b dae to you ....

may all your dreams and wishes come true....

_________________________

i am back

2006-10-19T02:53:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps to the few existing readers of my blog ... yes i know i have been away from the blogging scene for some time now ... but i am back

the trip to chiangmai was fantastic .i thing i am a person who is intertwined with nature . i believe that God exist . i believe that he is great and i have seen his power and glory are beyond the wildest imagination. i never knew how beautiful our earth wad until i when to chiangmai. the beauty of the hills and mountains surrounding den luang village was just excellect. the clouds that hovered around the summit was sure a sight to behold. denluang is surronded by beautiful padi and corn fields . the place where i stayed was the christian home of love . i was really a humbling experience staying at that home. i found out how simple and beautiful life can actually be . for those who know me they will know that i complain abt anything and everything but surprising i didnt complain as much as i usually do.lol i managed to shop a little and buy stuff for some of my frens and myself . i would do anything to go there again... actually i have alot to say abt my trip to chiangmai but i think i wont be doing it here . if any of ya are intrested to listen to my tales and see the glorious pics i took ...give me a call oki ... i will be more than willing to bring my laptop down and show them to you ....

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i when for a cruise on board the super star virgo and it was totally cool i crazy . i actually wanted to abt all the madness and crazyness that happened on board but me and my darlings made a promise saying that wad happens on board stays on board . SO I SHALL HONOUR THAT . it was really fun i think i have came closer to my darlings they are the best two frens anyone can be. luv ya darlings . and i made great frens

i will post the pics up soon .....

till the next

i leaving

2006-09-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

i leaving on a jet plane ... yippp ok i just forgot the last part of that song cant blame me i am just too excited

i will be in chiangmai a full 10 days with audrey and aunty mayeng how exciting .... i am going to leave most of my clothes in the home . i want to create as much place as possible for the things that i am going buy . shopping sure can make a person feel all warm and fuzzy inside....

i have packed my bag and it weighs like a ton . wonder how am i gonna carry it around .madness

i have loads of things to buy back

honey
bags
t shirts
muchies
chains
rings
and a million other things

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this is how much i know abt the trip i am going to

it is in northern thailand in the fang district
i will be staying in an orphanage / teaching english/ milking cows

day one
- as soon as i land we will be checking into the DOI VIEW hotel
- shop that nite

day two
- 4 hr car ride to the home

day three - day eight
- helping out at the home anyway i can

day nine
- take a bus down from the home back to the city
- shop
- one day tour of chiang mai

day ten
- shop
- shopping at the dfs
- fly back to spore
- shopping at the dfs

thats all i knoe ...........

_____________________________________

i have packed my hp and cam charger
hope that i will have a chance to blog when i am there

i promise to take a gazillion pictures

sakina and asmaputri and ananthi and special present awaits for ya ...
justin and weiren and teresa i havent forgot abt ya
glav .... ok shant continue typing names starting to feel the pinch in the pocket....lol

see ya peeps cant wait for school to start again

bye darlings and sexy and my bitch bros....

be back soon ok promise

chiangmai

2006-08-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

yippy my trip is confirmed i will be in the mountains of chiang mai from 7 sept to 16 sept and guess who is going with me . " the ultra last min khaki queen her majesty AUDREY " this is so crazy i just told her that i was gonna go to chiang mai and live in a village and she agreed to go and she looked the air line ticket straight away how cool is that .

things that i look forward to -

no mummy for 10 days
freedom
nature
padi feilds
mountains
fresh air
fun
shopping
elephant rides

things that i dread

no aircon
no comfy beds
no hot water for baths
no internet
mud
dirt

ar wad did i get myself into anybody wanna send me off ... lol
just jokin

i really cant wait arrrrrrrr

i am so excited
i have yet to get a bag
wad should i pack for my ten day trip
toiletries i have not prepared my materials for the trip
the stories i am going to say

iamsonotpreparedwadamigonnadothisiisdrivingmebonkerssomeonehelpme

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my pics are taking forever to load will post them another day

fun week

2006-08-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

its has been the first week of my break . my mum is complaining that sp is giving to many breaks . i dont seem to be complaining wonder why she seem so agitated over it ...lol. monday was spent cleaning up my room its a wonder how fast junk builds. i felt that i just cleaned my room just like a month ago but it all seemed to build up so so so fast. i threw away like 2 bags of garbage . the best part is that i use my room only for sleeping and changing . beside that i am always on my daddy s bed watchin tv or in the hall watching tv thank God for the labtop/wireless connection now everything is mobile . i can surf the net when ever i want ever i want.

when to shop at jb with my aunt and cousins was so fun hanging out there . we had lunch there at maduras the food was excellent . i desprately needed a pair of sneakers . when to shop at kotaraya couldnt find anything i like . so we all when to city square but before that we had road side chendol it tasted so good i have always wonder wad was it that made roadside food taste so good some ppl might thing it is unsafe and all .you don know wad ya missin out peeps... i looked around for my sneakers for a while didnt see anything till i reached the4th floor . it is just like the annex is heeren but bigger and cheaper and yes i am now the proud new owner of a pair of quicksliver sneakers size us 10.5 . shopping overseas is easy all thanks to mastercard ...lol we passed by an arcade there . all excited and all my cousins and me taught my aunt how to play the daytona car racing game, she was officially hooked we had to practically pull her away from the wheel . had fried ice cream and rice balls and nasi lemak at the cafe before we left for singpore stuffing our pockets with hookies and chewing gum

we met pat and vin at sun plaza got sumee and sugee 21st bdae celebration dresses sumee's is cream with beads while sugee's one is a beautiful purple tube top dress... cant wait anymore pat and me are in charge on invites and deco cant wait 7 more weeks yipeee

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when with mummy and pinny for the dinosaur exibition at the science centre was super cool got to see sue the t rex up close and personal . she is one preety dinosaur wonder how she look like if she was with flesh .hanged around there for abt 2 hrs then when to the science centre the exibition is at the annex ... so the lighting show took some pictures will post them up soon the power of energy it was excellent ... loved it . we reache there at abt 10.30 left that place abt 4 .30 .. when for lunch at jurong east ...

dead beat now .... gonna snooze now hopefully gonna to towner to see my babies tomolo cant wait lol...

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you don control my life and if ya think i am sorry forget it ok FORGET IT

tuesday's with morrie

2006-08-01T07:43:00.000-07:00

have ya ever wondered wad will happen during the days closer to your death . how will you react to death. wad is your outlook of life . why are we afraid of talking about topics that actually means alot to living life. why are we not talking about the beauty and darkness of live. we should forgive everyone not later but now

'' we are too afraid to love as we are too afraid to lose the one we love "

a quote from the movie tuesdays with morrie

so far in my 18 plus yrs of my life no movie has touched me the way 'tuesdays with morrie ' did . i has reached the depths of my soul and has touched me in places that no emotions has ever lingered . is it too hard to believe that a movie can touch your the very depths of your soul ...i am almost always choked in tears when i watch this movie

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morrie had so much courage even when he knew he was dying he had such a positive out look of life. a quote from him was 'only when ya know how to die will ya know how to live 'we should dedicate our lives to loving even the ones ya hate . everyone in the world should know abt his life . his affection his courage his inner strenght his wisdom and also in the excellence of how he lead his life . wad a waste that i could not meet him

we should talk abt

love
death
marriage
education
dependancy
life
regrets
pride
vanity
hardness of the heart
reflections

i have to reflect alot on wad had happened /happening in my life

if you are on your deathbed and you are granted one day of good health wad would ya wish for ?

this are all my random thought and before anyone goes around saying i am suicidal - please no way i have all my life to live i have all my love to live i will survive

the movie just ended i typed this while watching the movie .. the choke in my throat is starting to hurt shall watch a happy movie next time ....

it true

2006-07-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

i knoe that some how you will be able to know of wad i write in my entries .yes it is true when they are drunk you say the truth .

and sure you did . know i know excatly wad ya think of me . i am grateful but i am hurt also . but thanks anyway now i knoe the truth . i didnt know that you you dint like me kissing you . i thought that you liked it . but when you told me that you actually hated that .i knew wad i did was you . i know that if i try to justify myself . it would be nothing but excuses. i shall live with that ....

nikki and pam called me . when i was in biz stats tutorial .., that was the only fun part of it ..... school SUCKS ... yes it does

i drank alot today

i had a

2003 durdoux ( red wine )
2002 ros'e shiraz ( red wine )
absolute red ruby vodka
aboslute rasberry vodka
absolute apeach vodka
level vodka

yes it all tasted heavenly

mama throws the best parties in the whole wide world
the menu is execellent

we had
6 diff kinds of pizza
samosa
spring roll
salad
chocalates
m n m 's

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kumar came with his grp of frens
most of them are cool ( i think )
he has been like an elder bro to me .....

i love myself you think i am afaminate so be it
i can relate better with girls is that a crime
accept me for the way i am if anyone thinks that i am a let down so be it .
i am who i am
love me hate me i don care
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of ya think you have a hot galfren guess wad i have several hot gal friends! ...

at the end of the day it is me who hang out with the ppl you dream of .....

if ya think you can dance try me i will beat ya in the cha cha or rhumba anyday
i don swing my hands violently in clubs i have a frame and structure if ya know wad i mean

________________________________________________

i am not sure if mama knew if we said bye to her . i really hope she knew .hope she is alrite she looked rather high when i left .

took a cab with bryan , pam and zangke . ... now i am typing this as i lie on my bed ...
this is how i feel at this point of time ...

feeling sleepy now .. i wanna rest .

all i wanted is for you to accept me the way i am yes i have changed..... i need to have a long chat with ya when ya free lets do this .... it just hurts me too much ...... lets talk this out just the 2 of us.... you know wad i mean , when ya hear abt this ,,, call me lets go out . we NEED to clear this .... i don want this to affect our frenship..... cos it means alot to me

________________________________________________

take care nikki and mama pam , geri and zk and russel and ah thu ,rodger and alan and terence and denise and he 15yr fren and tommy and ben ben and kumar and fletcher and khye and satish and charles and cee hua and don and the guy with the dyed hair and darren elieen ,wendy and weixiang bryan , melvyn ,( denise's cousin bryan )
_____________________________________________________

AND FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT GAY

WAD THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM

I LIKE GIRLS AND ALL THAT COMES WITH THEM

I AM STRAIGHT

___________________________________________________

UNLESS YA WANNA FUCK WITH ME DON ASK ME ABT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION

I AM WAD I AM

SCREW YOU BITCHES/BASTARDS
_____________________________________________________

lifestyle

2006-07-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps if there is anybody actually reading my blog

is some strange way at times i wish nobody does , but at timee i wished the whole world would just peep in to my life . i don think that wad i want is strange . is it too much to actually ask for . a certain level of privacy thats all i ask for i am sick of ppl discussing my life on the blog entries i type . a reason why i actually started writin a personal journal . i little note book where i can put all my feelings and desires

life can be a bitch at times but i still long it all the more... some really cool and shitty stuff has happen over the past weeks of my absence. more shitty than good stuff . putting all the shit aside i still made time for myself and caught a movie pirates not too bad not all that good either . i also when for a concert at the durain " romance under the moonlight " by johaan strauss . excellent arrangements and the dance of the the blue daunbe was the best i have every heard . i love the way how thy always make the audience interect with the sso musicians . excellent work

i finally got a chance to see how nikki rides her horse at the polo club . kinda the cool " life style of the rich and famous or should i say infamous " lol nikki you should know wad i mean hehehehe

i have so many distractions in my life right now but some how it all seems to go away when i am in my room all alone . my room is my santuary . how i wish i can summon micheal from his grave to paint my celing . all i want to be surrounded by is art music and poetry and booze . my close fren of mine told me once that i am an alcoholic please la i drink any for pleasure the feeling of being intoxicated is euphoric . you just feel so light literally and the pain is all gone away . i know that it is only temporary but the feeling is great as long as it last .

come on people we only get to live once if we dont enjoy it now in our youth how can we do it when we are older . live for the moment do wad your heart desires just enjoy every moment on our beautiful earth . we dont know how long more we are going to live but let every moment be filled with fun and laughter peace and joy

school is being a bitch , my Ideas project is far from completion and my CD project lets not go there and my exams are in a week time . GOD bless us all . there are alot of people i wanna meet . there is so much i wanna do i seriously cant wait for the upcoming 6 week break holidays

i wanna go to my uncles house and stay for abt a week i wanna go hiking and i wanna swim in the waterfall and go hunting cant wait . it would be fantastic and one care to join me ...

diamonds and rubies

hangover

2006-06-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

Hangover

We all know how bad you feel the day after a night of boozing, and we sympathize. However there are a few things you can do to get rid of that pesky hangover. One solution is fruit juice instead of coffee some feel the caffeine does more damage then good. Another thing to try is putting honey on your toast. The fructose in the honey may help your body burn off the alcohol faster

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the first day of school when great

i got back my results

82 for cargo handling

78 for port and terminal

yipeee

had dinner with jerome , teresa and justien

i need some serious rest ...

2006-06-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

this ae the pics on my trip to the spa

i wanna go to the marriot again....boy i love the spa

marriot trip

2006-06-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

more updates in the next entry

daddy's day

2006-06-17T22:33:00.001-07:00

have you ever wondered how fathers day came abt

The idea of Father’s Day was conceived by Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., while she listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909, according to the U.S.
Census Bureau' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Census Bureau. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm.
A day in June was chosen for the first Father’s Day celebration—June 19, 1910, proclaimed by Spokane’s mayor because it was the month of William Smart’s birth.
The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.

Some Father's Day numbers, from the Census Bureau:

66.3 million: Estimated number of fathers in the United States today.

26.4 million: Fathers with children under 18 and wives in a family setting.

2.3 million: Number of single fathers with children under 18, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.

102 million: The number of Father’s Day cards expected to be given this year in the United States, making Father’s Day the fifth-largest card-sending occasion. (Source: Hallmark research)

50: Percentage of all Father’s Day cards that are purchased specifically by sons or daughters. Nearly 20 percent of Father’s Day cards are purchased by wives for their husbands; the remaining cards are bought for grandfathers, sons, brothers, uncles and "someone special."

73: Percentage of Americans who plan to celebrate or acknowledge Father’s Day.

143,000: Estimated number of "stay-at-home" dads, defined as married fathers with children under 15 years old have remained out of the labor force for more than one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wives work outside the home.

32: Percentage of fathers who regularly worked evening or night shifts and were the primary source of care for their preschoolers during their children’s mother’s working hours.

4.6 million: Fathers who provide child support. All in all, 84 percent of child-support providers are men, who provide median payments of $3,600 annually.
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just came back to spore yesterday darn tired now.... off to snooze . will post the pictures of the trip soon ... till then chao

daddy's day

2006-06-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

vindicated

2006-06-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

vindicated , emotionless , bitter sweet sensation

i am startin to accept the fact that she might never be mine but till the day she get married i still have the chance and even after i still do ( according to pam / you go gal )
it sure makes much sense but till then i just just wait , or pray that i find someone new... baby all i want is you ...

i heard that the jade has a protecting power over all thoses who wear it , but it didnt help me , it did not protect my heart from breakin . i must pull myself together ,and i must do it quick i don want want to slip lower into the deep abyss that i am peakin at .

when to school yesterday and sort of did my project for biz stats . was kinda cool amalina is a super typist . after the project when to slack at the library at the 4 th floor .. we watched some videos and continued with the project abit when mama called me we when to eskibar for drinks and a snacks chilled at the freeze room abit ... mama's new car is really cute i got to sit in the booth of the car ...

when home at the strike of midnite ... had a bath and slacked on msn .... my life is nothing but a routine of down and downs ... i wish the day where i can pick my bags and leave on a jet plan ... i wish the day came soon

i need someone to mend my broken ... cant wait for 17th party.. will be my second time but thrilling all the same .... i have to built my veril....

diamonds and rubies , emeralds and jade all means nothing when i dont have you by my side .....

i stab my heart every time i see you /everytime you talk about him ...

never before have i felt this way ..... all i NEED is you

bizzare love triangle tells all thats in my heart

wadever love me hate me

2006-05-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

i have the sudden urge to blog now ...

why do friends turn on friends ?
why are there enemies ?
why cant we all be friends ?
why must everything be either black or white ?
why ? why ? why ?

the questions that are just running in my mind . i think i have lost the only girl i truly loved in my life or was is all but a mid summer night dream . i have dreamed of the life we could have led together if only you choose me . i want ya so bad but i know that will never be the case

_______________________________________________

i think i trust people to easily and i pour out my feeling to always the wrong ppl . i am a very happy person yet i am temperimental at the same time. my mood swings worse than a gal during her red alert .... i am who i am . i give no soul under the sun the rite to change the way i feel about myself and most of all askin me to change my character or my life style . accept me the way i am or just fuck the hell off . i dont need a person who doesnt accept me or my lifestyle . i am not going to change the way i am just becos i am not to your preference . love me hate me for all i care - i love myself more than anything next to GOD and family....

i have heard some people say that friends last forever but isit really the case. i knoe its selfish of me to say that i don like my frens having relationships but at times that i how i really feel . i have been treated like a freakin junk yard. first when ya do not have a bf you come along tryin to be my fren and all - ( and this is the part i hate when i have fren i tend to give my ALL but i have to realise that i shouldnt if i do , all i get is hurt and more hurt this is ultimately bad for me ) and as soon as ya get a bf you just disappear and your once best fren is just a feather in gale . the worse of all is that when you have a problem with your bf / gf you come crying back to me .askin for comfort and i forget all the hurt you have caused me and open my arms to invite ya with a warm hug and comforting smile and most of all frenship.........

is this wad they meant that frenship last forever . only go to your frens when ya lonely and down so they will make ya feel better and as soon as you are nursed up ,all you do is leave .... i have yet to find the meaning of true frenship then

yes i have some very good frens like hidayah who i can trust with everything in this world and nikki who is always there when i need a person to talk to ....and mama and many more ....

but wad is true frenship .where is my one true fren who will be there still the day i die..

_______________________________________________

i made many new frens recently

eilliot ( jap look alike boy )
roy ( eilliots gay partner )
emily , arron ,justin , song ( ppl that i got to know better )
audrey and andrew ( the lovey dovey pair )
zouyi ( my china chinese classmate )

______________________________________________

when out today with audrey arron justin eilliot to marina south to have steam boat didnt eat much though ,,,, just not in the mood .loved the ice cream though then when down to city hall to starbucks for frappe s . mummy emily joined us she is super farny .thanks for coming . i think i am over spending .... i am just not the person i used to be .... i hate it . i am getting to emo over certain things and i am just so not me ....

______________________________________________

BLOOD AND JADE

the two loves in my life .....
i want ya no no no i need ya

loveless

2006-05-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

neveragain will i fall in love cos it too painful to see her go

inspiration

2006-05-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

i read this and it has been an inspiration to me... i can really relate to him ... i have seen wad determination is and i will not flater nor will i fear .... i know he is with me and will protect me ....

read this ppl

Hello,
My Name is Steve Vaught, (born Stephen James Liller in Youngstown, Ohio). I am a 39 year old, happily married father of two great kids and I have a pretty good life here in Southern California. You would think that I would be happy because of these things, but I am not. I am not happy because I am fat and being fat makes every day unhappy.
I did not make this website to complain about it however, instead I am doing something about it and this site was made to chronicle my story.
I am going to walk across the United states from San Diego to NYC to lose weight and regain my life!
The rest of the story is that I have not always been fat. I have been many things in my life from a lanky teenager to a muscular Marine and now I am fat. This latest incarnation is without a doubt the worst.
Being fat is physically and emotionally painful. It diminishes the quality of the good things in life and it will ultimately bring about an early demise. So being overweight darkens every good thing that you achieve in your life and even prevents some things from happening at all.
For the last 15 years I have been slowly gaining weight and it seems that whatever I do, it just spirals ever upward.
Socially being fat is hard to deal with because I feel that am looked down upon by people even when they are not doing so maliciously. It may be human nature. You know, "survival of the fittest". Also, I feel as though I am being taken advantage of by companies and people that want fat people to buy their latest "miracle pill" or prepackaged food that will help me lose the weight.
We, as a society, are growing larger and have become a big market for high dollar fast fixes. We are not getting the fix because it is an illusion. Don't get me wrong, if I were given the option I would trade just about anything to be trim and fit again. I have the same excuses, desires and dreams as many others in my position. I know though, that there is no other option but physical exertion to truly get back into shape.
So, after consulting the family and getting their blessing I have made the decision to stop this merry go round and dedicate myself to losing the extra weight. I have an addiction and there needs to be dedication and sacrifice to cure addictions. If I had a drug or alcohol addiction I would go to rehab. Well, what I have in mind is rehab for the fat guy.
I am going to take six months out of my life and walk across the United States from San Diego to NYC.
My main purpose in undertaking this journey is losing weight. More importantly though, I need to change the behaviors that have allowed me to be in this situation in the first place. I know that to permanently lose this weight I must learn to be more responsible to myself.
Nuts you say? Well, maybe.
But how nutty is spending a fortune on miracle weight loss drugs or fad diets that never seem to have lasting results or dangerous surgeries that cost about the same as a luxury car?
Living your life without health insurance because you are considered too high risk.
What about the fact that only 3% of weight loss attempts are permanently successful?
What about the anxiety, depression and pain involved in everyday activities when you are fat?
I don’t want to miss out on birthdays, graduation, marriages and grandkids because I chose not to take my life back.
That, to me, is nuts.
I am going to sacrifice some time out of my regular life to gain 30- 40 years of a better, leaner, healthier and happier life.
So considering all of that, I would be nuts not to do this.
Losing the weight will be the easy part. I plan to keep the weight off in the future by maintaining a proper diet and level of activity needed, as well as remembering how easy it is to gain weight and difficult to lose it.
I hope my story and actions serve to encourage others to take their lives back - to get up and do something about it today.
We have become conditioned to believe that there is an answer in a pill or cream or drink or machine that will fix it for us. We lost sight of the fact that we are the most incredible machine ever built, capable of great heroism, ingenuity and strength.
The human race has achieved great feats solely on the efforts of the individual. Building pyramids, settling frontiers and walking on the moon are a few examples.
I hope to remind people like me, that we each have the strength and ability to do anything we want. Losing weight is a choice the same as continuing to exist in this terrible condition is a choice. I have decided to live! It really is a simple decision when you think about it.
If you want to keep up with the journey and my progress please come back often to check out the journal page. With details from the road both good and bad, I will talk about the walk, people I have met, my physical condition, and a weekly weigh in when possible.
This effort is not going to be without sacrifice, my family and I know and accept that. I will probably see my wife and kids only once or twice during this time. I am not in the best condition financially to go six months without income and have resigned myself to the fact that I will lose my car and property. Those things however, pale in significance when reckoned with the consequences of doing nothing.
I can get another car or another property but not another life. That which is most precious is the one thing that cannot be bought for any price...life.
So on April 10th, I started walking from Oceanside, CA headed out on the journey of and for my life.

if he can do it ... so can I .

i will not let pain or words bring me down cos i am DANIEL and nobody will bring me DOWN

pissed

2006-05-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

cool down daniel for ye are pissed let it just flow right through you

ideas was fun we are really gonna creat something witty and great ...lol
more update on that on the following weeks my fellow grp members are

I ACTUALLY TYPED SOME UNDESIRABLE STUFF ...

BUT I HAVE REMOVED it

some ppl just have that effect on you

fun day

2006-05-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

hiya peeps i really had another enjoyable day yesterday . i actually cut class yesterday ... me cut class i never thought i would dare do it . but i did and boy was it worth it... met david in the dover mrt when when down to town to meet audrey we got down at orchard . our initial plan was to watch a movie we then actually decided to watch sentinal but just as the movie was about to start david when to buy makan and it was too late to watch the movie . so that was the first flop of the day but we continued to talk and crap around a while before heading down to 2 other guess outlets to find the bag i was looking for ... but lady luck was not shining me the bag i wanted was discontinued ...sobs that totally sad . so well talked alot and talked alot in town ... at abt 5 david when to meet his fren we tagged along for a while but me and audrey dear did not fit in too well with then ...

soon after we walked down to cine where i and audrey wanted to watch a movie but yet again there was nothing nice to watch and it toally sucked we slacked around at the red lounge before heading down to TCC . the place is classy and the drinks first class i have a mango tea frappe and she had a peach tango i thing we chatted and laughed like crazy ppl . i called justin and they told me that they were going to cityhall . so i headed there with audrey we wanted to take an mrt but we took a bus instead which was totally cool ... we got down a bustop earlier but i think i was all for a reason . if we didnt we wouldnt have passed by the arts museum which entry is free by the way ( fridays 6 - 9 pm ) isnt that cool . so we when in and just looked around . the paint work there is excellent .. singaporean artist are good too . they are just not credited enuf ... we took a walk up the 2nd floor and we when to view more art . we first passed a hall where they were teaching lindy hop for beginners which was totally cool we first did not put much taught into it but soon after it was just fantastic we actually when for it .it was darn cheap 3 dollars for a two our class. we did the shimmy the lean the broad walk all which was just excellent . and we made new frens which was so cool . phil and his gal fren and sunil and his fren . we all then walked down to raffels city where we ate at cafe cartel ... we were talking and all when i found out that he is actually a trainer for kids and also a salsa dancer ... totally hot ppl ...

after dinner we wanted to watch a movie at gv marina but there was nothing nice on so we walked more and we headed down to the nearest bust stop taking a bus down to cathey picturehouse the place is totally COOL . it is so new and the place just looks great darn classy . lovely place we watched kinky boots there . maybe thats the reason why we were prevented from watching movies trice that day ... it all happens for a reason ,.... i just love my life ... after the movie which was great by the way we headed down to a kopitiam ... where we crapped abit more before going home .....

i found out that everything happens for a reason if we didnt get down from the bus stop a stop earlier we would have not gone to the museum and i would not have met phil .. and we would not have watch a movie and become fren ... seriously everything happens for a reason just love the idea of that ... looking back and looking at the series of events it is really amazing wad God plans for us

labour day

2006-05-02T04:50:00.000-07:00

the whole morning i had to do my stupid ideas project .in plastersine which just stinks ...eee i taught my modelling days were over but boy didnt it come back and bit me real hard on the ass ... hate it arrr luckliy i got my daddy to help me . my mum was commenting that even on labour day i did not leave my father alone ... it is high time he laboured for me ... evil laughter *

in the evening met up with huimin ( self clamied cutie ) which introduced me to her best fren audrey ( anti veg ) who now is my beer kakhi, and david ( no dick ) and andy .and no he does not look anything like andy lau ( twig dick ) not even 40 % lol... we first when to wala wala cos andy said there was a good band there but we were not allowed . so only i and andy had a fatty pint there . and proceeded to indochine siam reap . rahim was working so was uncle. we had a blast there taking pics and talking lots of shit...lol enjoyed their company .

i never really thanked my godmum for actually teaching me how to entertain ppl and how to enjoy a night out . i really think she had trained us all well anyone who go out with her will agree....

today andy drove us from sp to the cheese prata shop near pasir panjang.. for prata wad a waste that audrey wasnt there to join us ... but i am sure there will be another time ...

i am totally in love with the song zombies by the cranberries . just makes me feel all dark and evil....lol

the babe in purple is audrey
the other babe in red is huimin
the dude is black is twig dick sry i mean andy
and the guy who came with a red t shirt is david

sentosa 29th

2006-04-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps I had an enjoyable time at sentosa last Saturday . kyla ananthi weiren and I when to tanjong beach yesterday it was a total fantabulous trip to the beach even though it was just the four of us I taught it would be boring but boy was I wrong it was a total blast . met ananthi at lakeside and took a train down to habourfront and waited for weiren there .he came ½ hr late being very fashionable .

Just don understand this kyla and weiren they can go to the beach with out extra clothes or a towel wad were they thinking lol …. Weiren didn’t wanna get wet but finally we all did . we were waiting for rain to fall how weird .

Tanjong beach for me I believe is THE MOST beautiful beach in Singapore . you really feel as if you are in another country .the lagoon is totally fantastic and the best part there is not many ppl there comparing it to palawan or siloso which is totally choked with you knoe wad ….. I enjoyed my time there with them and it also felt like as if we have known each other for the longest time …. Since weiren and kyla had no extra clothes they had to just rinse of the salt and continue walking to dry off themselves . we had just a blast .

Had to rush back to pass some bottles to my uncle so I was unable to join them for lunch I rushed home …. And hurried to meet hidayah my bestest best fren whom I have known for 12 yrs . we when to swensens for an apple crumble and waffle we chatted a while there and then made our way to causeway point for a bite at cavanas ( the chicken place ) I had a black pepper chicken pasta and nachos . my birthday pressie from my dearest fren ….

There are some frens that last forever ….

2006-04-30T00:44:00.000-07:00

I am first typing my blog in ms word due to the unpredictable nature of blogspot which is being a big big pain in the arse . yesterday was a very very good day for me I recently realized that I type words often twice . yesterday my wonderful group of angles celebrated my birthday in style . gosh wasn’t that something to remember . after due consideration and the divine intervention from Teresa .we finally reached pizza hut it was extremely fun . it felt as if we had a banquet table extremely excellent with all its grandeur.

Gosh I think I am born to plan parties if I don make it in this line ‘party planner here I come’ . I enjoy making reservations, planning the menu and stretching the dollar it snaps . great parties on a church mouse budget . hahaha . we had like 3 full grp pizza sets and gingerbread add ons which taste horrible btw and lots of drumlets .for a split moment I thought that I would not a bdae cake to cut but those angles bought me not one but 2 cakes from swensens and the best part I have only know them only more than a week .we really do clique well.

We were laughing and screaming as if there was no tomolo as if our fathers owned that place . we were making jokes mostly dirty thanks to affiq . photo taking was extremely fun .i have never seen a more spastic face than Justin and that no matter wad happen wei rens facial reaction is always the same .

Names of my angels in no particular order
Jerome ( blue balls ) charlotte ( preetyface ) hazel ( lag ) weiren (pianoboi) klya ( klyalillion ) affiq ( dealer ) ananthi ( loanshark ) teresa ( big boss ) saiful ( roxk )
Justin ( spastic )

I met nikki in jp with her mum in jp on my bdae was really very happi to see them that day

Ppl who were not there but I wanted them to be there Sheryl , glavin

I am so totally shagged . mr osman had run find stuff in the library not telling us that it was ten per cent of our ca . wad the hell rite .so totally unfair but wad to do life goes on .
I am so tired .

here are some of the pics

tuesday

2006-04-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

i had a full 8 to 5 day today and boy am i tried . i am totally tired i am totally shagged . the ideas class was kinda fun but i really cant stand the smell of plastersine it totally Stinks with a capital ' S ' . and the feeling of it yucks i hate the feeling ... eeee

marine economics i think i am starting to like the subject it is starting to become fun . esp the part of me learning sumthing . i feel as if i am a sponge i need to soak up infromation .... sound so studious but i hope this hunger for knowledge last for ever ok la at least the next 3 yrs .

tomolo is my b dae i gonna sip barcadi like its my b dae ....

.... i really hope tomolo goes according to plan or i will be totally screwed .

if you fail to plan you are planning to fail
i love to plan i hope everything goes according to plan tomolo
i love the idea of me turning 18 i have waited 18 yrs for this day
it so close my stomach is fluttering
everybody scream a capital YEAH

cant wait

take the lead

2006-04-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

today is the first day of the second week of school .... our port terminal teacher is MIA yet again MR CHEAT

i am the gang when to watch 'take the lead' taking abt exilarating moment .slasa and tango music just swoops you off your feet to another world . the co relation of music and dance is univeral . i believe that without music there is no dance, without dance and music there is no life . no need to care abt genres it is all abt life. more importantly the celebration of life . nobody owns music/dance it belongs to every body . the rich , the poor , the weak , the strong , the fat , the skinny - no race nor religion is music bound to .... music and dance is for every body

this was reflected very well in the movie . i can personally relate to big girl and big papa . those who know me should no why . it was made very clear to me that size does matter while dancing . it is a hinderance but never and barricade. jerome looked at me one kind when he heard the gal say to big papa that he was too big to dance . but boy was she wrong . size for me/i believe is not a factor for me to dance . and yes i will learn how to dance . i want it to be a testiment to myself showing that i am able to acheive certain things in life and not will bring me down . i will break that wall and cut that tree that stands in the way between me and my goal ....getting to emotional shall stop here for a while

i taught of giving nick names to ppl who when with me to the movie

justin - flick

teresa - boss

afiq - dealer *

ananthi - loanshark

daniel( me ) - big papa

wei ren - piano man

jerome - balls.... i will think of a better one soon...lol

wednesday is my bdae i hope every thing goes like clockwork , i hate hiccups and worse a change of plans .... i am so contradicting myself ... totally screwed

waltz

tango

rumba

salsa

flamaco

v.waltz

ball room dancing rockzz

losing it

this is all i want

yeah yeah

2006-04-23T03:25:00.000-07:00

YEAH YEAH . it going to be birthday ya it is nothing special but this year seems different .when i was in secondary school i seriously took birthdays for granted . it is true when ppl say you wont know how much a thing means to you till you have lost it . i really really miss 5na1 . i really wish it was like it always was . and i miss you all so so so so much . i really wish that my poly class would be as close as my secondary class . it is not that i don see it know . it is that we have only known each other for about a week abt so far prospects seems really GOOD.

18 it sure will be a milestone in my life gosh i am loving everyday leading to that day ...

monday is tomolo then it would be tuesday and then it would be MY BDAE

YIPPEEEEEEE
total madness
supercrazy
fantabulous
arrrrr

better sign out quick b4 i lose it all...

.

the first week of school

2006-04-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

the first week was quite smooth i guess .i have abt 6 subjects to study and i think i might have problems with marine economics cos i seem to know more abt my lecturers family than marine economics .

i am so happy that i am blessed with an ultra wonderful group of frens ..... never did think that i will clique with them so fast.i cant wait for school to start on monday again cos i will get to meet them again

i really hope that i will have a greater understanding on all my subjects . meeting up hid today to study .

my bdae is in four days yipee .............

cant wait.....

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go Daniel
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday

new life

2006-04-19T02:28:00.000-07:00

it has been 3 days since i joined sp .so far so good made some very good and extremly farny ppl . really sweet and sporting at least some ar . lessons have been ok except for marine economics which is kinda a pain in the arse . i just don get wad the guy was talking about . but as soon as i get my notes i will be in full gear .i really wanna do well and get a gd diploma and do my ns get a job and then setle down in life. a typical singaporean life wad else is new . there is nothing out of the blue or spontanous at all.

life is so planned its either black or white i wonder where all the grey when to this is sickening

' i am sick and tired of being sick and tired .....

there is a cca fair going on in sp and geuss wad i joined three of them

1 ) CSCC community service and cultural club

where i will be hopefully doing welfare and social work ( hopefully )

2 ) archery - yes it was a spur of the moments

3 ) DANCE - yes DANCE , i am going to be a DANCER . i will update more soon

i am going to be a dancer and i plan to lose 20 kg

yes i will

i am darn happy

and my bdae is so close .... i can use my own ic to go club ....

look at my diamonds sparkle

good friday

2006-04-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

today is good friday the day when the lord was crucified

On Palm Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem to the excitement and joy of many people. By the afternoon of Friday of the same week, Jesus was dead. The same people who had welcomed him so enthusiastically a few days earlier rejected him. What had happened?

After Jesus entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, he spent time preaching and teaching the people about God and Heaven and about Himself, the Son of God. While many people heard Him gladly, many others did not. One group that especially disliked Jesus was the chief priests and religious leaders of Israel. Many others expected Jesus to be a military hero like King David who would overthrow the rulers of Israel, the Romans. By Thursday evening, the religious leaders had decided to find a way to kill Jesus, and many in the general population were disappointed Jesus hadn't destroyed the Romans. Even one of Jesus' disciples, Judas Iscariot, had decided to betray Jesus to the priests. On Thursday evening, the time for the Passover feast had come. Jesus and His disciples gathered together for the meal. During this meal, the Last Supper, Jesus told His disciples many things. One thing He told them was that one of them was going to betray Him. While the disciples were in shock and dismayed over this statement, Jesus told Judas to go do what he must. Later that evening, Jesus and some of the disciples went to the garden of Gethsemane where Jesus could pray. Not long after Jesus finished praying, Judas and some officers from the priests came and arrested Jesus. Jesus was brought before the religious Supreme Court, the Sanhedrin, who falsely accused and convicted Jesus of blasphemy, a crime punishable by death back then.

However, they had to have the approval of the Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, to put Jesus to death. Pilate could find nothing wrong with Jesus that was worthy of death, but was afraid of the people. When he offered to the people to release either Jesus or another condemned man, most of the people wanted the other man. Pilate released this man and sent Jesus away to be crucified.Crucifixion was a terrible way to be put to death. Around 9:00 on Friday morning, Jesus was taken with two other condemned men and was crucified on a hill outside Jerusalem called Calvary.

While He was on the cross, Jesus asked for forgiveness of even the people who had put him on the cross. One of the men crucified with Jesus, a thief, asked Jesus to remember him when He came into His kingdom. Jesus promised the thief that he would be with him in Paradise (Heaven) that day. Around 3:00 that afternoon, Jesus voluntarily died. He was taken from the cross and buried in a nearby tomb that had been cut out of rock.

he laid down his life that man would live forever
i would be performing two items today in church
my prayer is that everything go according to his plan......

poly life

2006-04-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

when for SMA orientation they made it seem quite interesting my classmates don seem too bad i have made some new frens , in the whole of SMA there is not even one boon lay student....

sob sob but it is high time for change signed up with few clubs that i am interested in . met hafizah after the longest time gosh we were such great frens ... i hope that i meet the right group of frens soon ,... i want to totally concentrate in my studies all other distraction are secondary - at least thats wad i am sayin now usually i just go back to my usual self when the novelty runs out lol...

i am so in love with this song
Joan Osborne - One of us

If God had a name
What would it be?
And would you call
It to his face,If you wereFaced with him?
In all his glory
What would you ask
,If you had justOne question?

And yeah, yeahGod is great
And yeah, yeahGod is good
And yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slobLike one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face
What would it look like?
And would you
Want to see it,If seeing meant that you
Would have to believe
,In things like heaven
And in Jesus
And the saints,
And all the prophets

And yeah, yeahGod is great
And yeah, yeah
God is good
And yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob
Like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Way up to heaven all alone
Just like a holy Rolling Stone
Nobody calling
On the phone
Except the Pope
Maybe in Rome

it took guna and me abt 2 months to find this song till one of his frens found it... it is the sound track from the TV series Joan of Aracadia ... rather unique and it had lots of protest from the catholic and christian churches ...

things that i have to do this week

wednesday SPICE training from 9 am to 12 noon
thursday flag day presidents challenge
friday good Friday choir practice at 6.45 service at 8.15
saturday -
sunday sunrise service at 6.30 at jurong hill followed by service at 9.45

monday when all 3 yrs of complete madness begins arrrrrr

drained

2006-04-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

i am so drained both mentally and physically ok first let me start with my trip to msia

it was a blury morning where i had to battle to get across customs singapore is like a million times better customs wise malaysian customs looks like a rundown factory or sumthing the escalators never work the aircon is never on and the fans ... i shall not start on that but lucky it all got better when i saw my uncle and gosh his car is like super huge .... i slep the whole 3 1/2 hours to the treatment centre

and i still don know why i bothered to pack so much they gave me clothes to wear ffor 3 days it was all massages and horrible tasteing herbal soups and yes i got to try monkey , squirel ,bat and water lizard yes i sounds extremely disgusting bu the medical benefits are excellent according to the physican at the holistic centre .... i loved the massages but hated the food and acupuntures eeee....

soon after that my uncle drove me to to his place in batu pahat that drive was abt 2 1/2 hrs ... his place is so beautiful his house is so close to nature and has the backdrop of several hills and mountains ... and i also got to climb a 750 m hill ... surrounded with lush greenery and towering trees and snakes! yes snakes .... i will post the pics on a later date ...

the chinese herbs my mum is boiling is stinking up the house and making me drowsy never did i know that herbs can make you sleepy ....

off to snoozw now... till later

school is starting on the tenth.......

beauty

2006-03-22T08:09:00.000-08:00

when to sp today for my pre enrolement exercise . my Q number was 443 and the number they were serving was 216 ... complete madness thank God mummy was there ... we when to eat at the canteen the food is extremely cheap 2 of us ate for 4 dollars and a plate of fruits was only 1.80 . after lunch we got back just in time for my turn .soon after it was all smooth sailing and yipee i got my poly card the picture in it is totally spastic ...totally it looks like a cross between a terrorist and a fish monger ...arrr madness i joined two camps so happy abt that

one of them is a overnight weekend camp and the other is an outing to sentosa cant wait i never knew that i would be this desperate to get back to school SMA is a 15 min walk from the MRT station .... arrr long walk i hate them but wad to do and worse of all it is uphill totally hate that

MADNESS

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BEAUTY IS IT REALLY IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER ?

it is just weird the beauty is so stigmatised and sterotyped a stick thin figure is the epedemy of beauty while being fat short or not having a nice complextion is seen and celebrated as uglyness... wad is the world coming to ....

relationship

is it based on love or sex why do some ppl say that sex is the most important part of a relationship and in one case i knoe when she refused to give it to him he left her... so was he there for their love or her body just to get laid .... i do not want to sound like a celibate it is not that i am against sex or wad .... but i disagress with it being the most intergral part /only part of a relationship .... wad happen to love an d happiness

friendship

friens are really important for humans everyone needs a friend to lean on and cry on in time of need to share the good times and also bear a part the burden ... and boy am i blessed i have a wonderful group/gang ...am i

fellow blogger

we should be given the right to blog wad we want when we want how we want it . if we want to get a message across be bold in to... give no one the right to question you on wad you blog cos that if wad you are feelin and that is wad you are....... i like a phrase my fren put and the head of her blog ..

IF YOU CANT HANDLE WAD I RITE DONT READ WAD I RITE . FOR I A PERFORMER AND I GIVE NO ONE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION OR CRITIC WAD I RITE ....

but seriously if you want to comment get your own blog and start typing away no want is gonna stop ya ....

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wad i write belongs to me and no ones else .....

these words are my own

Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-FIs
who I am, is what I do
No one's gonna let it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-DI need some help,
some inspiration(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah ohâ€¦
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know,
don't you knowWaste-bin full of paperClever rhymes
, see you later
These words are my own
From my heart flown

dead

2006-03-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

i officially declare my blog dead ... anyway i don think anyone is reading my entries anyway. but thats for the better anway . i am bored but i never taught that i would be sayin it . i always taught i would have sumthing to occupy my mind but boy was i wrong. i have doone everything that i am suppose to do . let itbe the poly admission shit or anything else arrrrrrr i am just going bergaga..

i have almost everything that i want

i have my own laptop
i have my own digital camera
i have a handphone
i have a mp3 player
i have my own room
i have a super comphy bed
i have enuf clothes - jeans - t shirts - shoes - flipflops
i have a loving family
i have a wonderful gang of friends
i have got good o level grades - at least better than i expected

but why do i not feel complete
this is the question i ask myself everynight before i sleep
why am i not contented with wad blessings i have

there is a song that comes to my mind when i type this - ' count your many blessings name them one by one see wad GOD had done'
i seriously have alot to be thankful for

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why do ppl type blogs have ya ever wondered?

responses - to convey to others how i feel
to say wad i really feel as i am afraid to say it to your face
random taughts
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i hate it when people thing that i am an ez target to bully or scold i am warning you i am patient only becos i ________________________. i hate it when ppl think they can scold me just becos you all preety and whiny you are nothing but a spolit pig mood swings and hotflushes not only come for you piggie other ppl get them too . but don think ya are always at the top of the world. you may have possesions but i have love ....... not in the mood

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i might want to go to the beach with khye this sat just maybe i really need to unwind in the scourching sand i need it la i really do.....

my think i would be leaving to msia on 29th or 30th of this month will be back on ___
not to sure yet . my life is so gonna be different when i go to poly a whole new teaching method a whole new class of classmates a whole differnent lifestyle . i cant wait to embrace it gosh it would be fun cant wait for apr 10 school is startin on that day

this friday i am gonna stay over in aunty chulings house we are making watermelon like jelly we have to make a grand total of 200 arr we have to be up the whole night yipee..... we are making it for the watermelon fest that would be held in church on saturday 10 to 12.... fun games and lots more ....

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mel peirced her navel thats ok but juan gosh wads the world coming to lol....
pleasure in pain

poly jitters

2006-03-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

i really think it is high time i stared blogging again . it has been such a long time since i last blogged to much procrastinating aint good for health... yes i did get my results and yes it is big kick on the arse but wad can i do about it....

even before going to the poly open house i knew wad i wanted to do it had alsways been mass com . when i went for the open house it was confirmed that it was wad i wanted to do for the rest of my life . soon after that i got my results my boy was i happey when i found out i was eligible to enter media and communication i was both estatic and euphoric. but my parents told me to keep my options open and to think about other courses actually they planted seeds of doubt into my head and it works for some weird reason i believe they psycoed me into choosing maritime transport management which i was more than qualified for the entry was 18 and i got 14... my dad summited the form for me and then it was sealed and yes i got the course the next thing now i am waiting for is my sponsorship letter which i will get on mid april i hope that gets through . if it does gosh it would be great i would be paid to study and best of all i will have a job waiting for me when i graduate wouldnt that be cool.....

i got into maritime transport management yipee....

i heard from my frens in the course that we will be given the chance to do sea sports that would be ultra cool yipee..... though apprehensive at first i am not ready to kick ass in the course . i should put in my full 110% in wadever work i do and then and only then will i succeed ....

poly admission is one big fat kick in the arse so much of work to do .........

got to do it soon

o levels

2006-02-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

i am receving my o levels today in abt 13 hours . this is wad it all boils down to a sheet of paper that would either make you or break you - the paper that decides all ( ok la quite dramatic ) but very true wad

my stomach is churning my head is about to split and my hands are kinda trembling as i type this , my heart is racing - i just want my results in my hand i believe i did my best . i did study hard and

yes i did practiced my maths
yes i memorized my historical facts
yes i did keep my summary within the word limit
yes i balances were close
yes my eqns balanced

but was that enough i do not knoe
this part is ultra sucky

my whole week has been a blast outings with a crazy gal
nicloe honey horny leonardo vinci fruitbowl autum ning jingyi
when to sentosa tanjong beach with her i have never met a person who was sad that she was not burnt by the sun geri and wx were there also we had to use a pubic shower since there were no water in the toilet maintenace lol so after washing the salt off us we toweled ourselves aand when to km8 for booze sarong fly was good after that we when dumster diving only thoses who when will knoe wad i mean this is totally screwed when the to siam reap to booze again that was abt 3 plus lol we are such boozers lol since the exams were over it has been boozing MSNing outings towning and working and slacking arrrrrr total madness

i hope this party never ends
nikki says i club in weird places this is so not true naughty nine and cheeky monkey are not weird places

lots of boozing and movies

when to watch

fun with dick and jane with madgal and mama
not to much of a story line the cast was good though
i rate it 2/5

casonova
watched it today nikki
never met a man who had such a varied interest in women
was quite funny and exciting towards the end only....
i rate it 3/5

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I AM GETTING BACK MY RESULTS TODAY

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR crazy me

wad should i do where should i go help/lead/guide/take control of me LORD

raining ...

2006-01-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

the rain never seems end this is such a mood dampener .... yes it is the perfect weather to snoooze but i have done it already ... my bed time is going haywire trying to force myself to sleep aint working anymore.... cough mixture with warm water has failed me . i need sleeping pills i wish i could just sleep and wake up on the 26th of april ... i want to be eighteen so bad so i need not borrow ids or hold my stomach till i enter a club this is so so ultra depressing .

waiting for my aunt to call me ... guess wad peeps i am going to be paid to clean her house .... yeah ... this is so so exciting .

scrubing - cleaning - wiping

leslie will be going back to perth 14th... met him on the 10th and ate with him and adrain and nikki and richmond at marche ... never knew little nikki could eat so so so much ...oinky piggie after that wanted to watch a movie at cine but there nothing nice to watch so decided to go to taka instead leslie bought chocolates which was extremly nice both milk and dark . and yes we battled the rain while walking from cine to taka . never knew newspaper had multi functions. both for general knowledge and for shade against the elements ... lol after that when to paragon and slacked for a while. mama then fetched us to polo club ....

i hope house cleaning would make me the next martha .that would be so cool without the stock fraud though ... but wad ever . i heard 3 teachers left boon lay, mr tan bh , ms wai and my beloved mdm pearly lee . she was so fun to be with . gosh i learnt so much from her she was there and taught me patiently when i couldnt understand electricity . she is an excellent private tutor .

teachers who left a mark in my life

she was there to push me on . often telling me to becareful with my punctuations and my spellings . and was there to encourage me when i was down and despired. who pushed me on when i felt like crap always telling me that i will only excel if i put my heart into it ... and giving such wonderful presents... the maxsim tickets were excellent. she is non other than my english teacher mdm suizela ... love ya to bits my dear teacher

i will feature a different teacher every entry
next up would be Mr tan bh

.: { D@n!eL } :.

a brand new yr

2006-01-02T21:41:00.000-08:00

shall all bad aquaintance be forgotten and hope they fall in a drain X2

ok let me do a post mortem of last year ... yes though memorable it has its fair amount of shitty experiences .. also learnt the harsh reality that frens are never wad they seem . gosh there are so many ppl walking around with paper masks on and are completly different when ya turn your back ... but wad to do we are living in a very sinful world . but like wad mama( godmum) told the best way to live life is with the fuck care attitude . and yes i completely agree . ppl must start taking responsibility for thier action and stop being cowards...

the more we try to forget about an incident all more it comes and bites ya on the ass . but that is life isnt it .. who knoes

there is lots i wanna do this year and the decisions i make this year will determine my future and lots more ....

1 . o level results
2 . my poly/jc selection
3 . course selection
4 . _________
and many more

all i want in my life is good frens who i can trust me ... i need frens who accept me the way i am ... not changing to thier convience and i so hate being used . i do not enjoy playin postman and a string puller . often ending as the third party ... this is all just getting out of hand ... i need something stable in my life . i want to be grounded . i want to be able to harden my heart and take all shit that is thrown my way ... i need strengt i need power .... i need the strenght to refuse a person and most of all say NO ... why is so so so very hard to tell a person No ....

arrr

wad a way to start the year ...

i heard the song hung up by madonna and a part of it really made good sense to me

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught up I don't know what to do

party on the 30 th was wonderful loved it lots thanks peeps for comin ...

i will blog a happier entry soon * promise

liquid room

2005-12-19T05:42:00.000-08:00

gosh this whole week has been totally cool ... and yes sorry for the absence from here... but reallly did no have the mood to blog .... only had the mood to read blogs ... but wad ever .... actually wanted to blog random like nikki , but i so don have the skill to do so .... just too too difficult ... but wadever

dearie leslie aka ah bebe and gang are in singapore finally after months of talking abt it and chatting over it .... ok la maybe only six months but it is still a long time ... i got to make so many new frens through him ...

justin aka bulldozer ... don ask why ....
adrain aka alien
jon aka BFG ( big frenly giant )
darly aka dong ( no comment)
adam aka _________ ( have not taught of one yet )

and yes i also found a fren in Kumar ... super nice chap thanks for lending me your ic dude..

________________________________________________

fast forward till sat clubbin session
i shall try to type random ... please leave your comments k nikki

when to liquidroom
faked my way in
had a blast
booze till i died
danced till my feet hurt
back at five ...

ok i shall stop here .....

clubbing with frens instead of your cousins is so so darn cool... so much more thrillin and gosh that nite was so so so wild ... puts a whole new meaning to fake id ... gosh i love myself ... i love the thrill ... boozing by the river before shakin is just too cool ... everyone went the aussie peeps ... and all my dearies ... so so so wild... when nikki toes heals hope we can go club soon... cantcant wait....

______________________________________________

first day of my new job tomolo .. reallyhope i like it

arrrr
madness

in hid's place

2005-11-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

in
the pure essence of boredom , i have decided to blog abt the ever changing ever wild hid
yes she has been my friend for about 11 years now . and she is the most paranoid person in the whole wide world .

wad defines a good bgr relationship

- trust
-confidence
-patience

and most importantly love but is it ?

i have always wondered if love itself was a protocol / instruction manual where everystep must be followed to the T . for results . for me i always thought love was like radioactivity spontenous not planned nor rehersed. but looking at the people around me it does not see so , it all seems to a big game or lets put is this way a " tit for tat " game . loving doesnt seem fun any more it seems to be more of a chore than pleasure . wasnt love given to humans to enjoy. wad the world needs now is love . everyone needs somebody even how 'loner' ya claim to be. everyone needs love . and when ya cant find love there is the next best thing frenship .the second best thing GOD gave us . everyone must have frens... i am blessed to have my jtps frens ..... the ppl i would really like to thank would be hid and rashid .... for they have been there for me when i was at my slums although i don heed their advices always i am thankfull for them

i believe the song stick with you by the pussycat dolls say it all

I don't want to go another day

So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind

Seems like everybody is breaking up

Throwing their love awayI know

I got a good thing right here

That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody's going to love me better

I'm going to stick with youForever

Nobody's going to take me higher

I'm going to stick with you

You know how to appreciate me

I'm going to stick with you

My baby

Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you forever

good frens don come by every day

this is for my primary school dearies i love ya so so so much

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the second group would be the ever wonderful god-mama and frens in short the momo ' s

the madness we had together is enough to last a life time . i so delighted to have ya as my frens and special thanks to jingyi and mama ... whom without all the excellect parties would be impossible . we throw the best parties in the west end of spore ... i am thankful for ya peeps whom without my life will not be complete

to the peeps who made my secondary school bearable

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and yes leslie i wont forget you

i have dedicated part of this entry to my dear aussie ah beng LESLIE

see who did i get to knoe him .... hmmm

i was stayin in his family's motel which was kinda cool i have a motel owners son as a fren how cool is that . leslie ahbeng is just your nick name dude ya don have have to throw a sissy fit for that . i knoe ya are as gentle as a puppy with a heart of gold . and ya have the cutest aussie accent a chinese boy can ever have . and thanks for the present i shall accept it. * thick skin * lol

i promise ya when ya come i will hang out with ya ... we shall go to the movies and i shall be a gracious singaporean guide ... looking forwad to spend lots of time with ya cracking jokes and lmao ( laughing my ass off ) aussie peeps hav short cuts for everything.... . don take anything i say to heart ok dude ... i am juz jokin ok ... see ya soon looking forward for your plan to land .... i advice you to take down my hp number ok.... call me as soon as ya are settled in spore i shall buy ya a sporean meal ( drinks sold separately ) (deserts come at extra cost ) LOL....

see ya my fav aussie ahbeng / penpal / leslie....

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I DYED MY HAIR RED .... THIS IS SO TOTALLY COOL....

I AM A REDHEAD

lalalalala madness

now it begins

2005-11-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

it has been more than a month since my last entry

yes the exams are finally over . but my mind is constantly waviering , so many thoughts in my head . at times i feel i am thinking too much . thinking about things that i am not suppose to . but thats just me . i have to keep my mind forever occupied . if it is not, i tend to reflect and put much thought into the occurance in my life ,- that is bad. i know this wrong at times we should not put too much thought into the words that are spoken to us .if we do we might take wad they sat wrongly

the exams are alrite . it was bearable . before i knoe it it was all over . this is just very very weird and i thaught the exams will never end . it is now totally over ... freaky . wad is done is done and no one change change anything except God ....

after the exams when to jurong point ... and met jingyi to sign up for her driving class ... gosh the roads of singapore will never be the same again.... crappy shit ( this word has no copyrights too bad lol )

when to sakae sushi ... and ate the fish was not too bad but the fired tofu was nice and jingyi spilled green tea all over the table .... lol

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plans for this holiday

go on a holiday x2
hopefully get a job
throw a christmas party with the works
celebratenew year in style
lot of clubbing
lots of towning
lots of funning
dye hair ( wild colours )
clean my room
overnights in the outdoors

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this such a crappy entry not in the best of mood . sibilings are nothing but pains in the arse

last day of school

2005-10-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

today was kinda the last day of officially planned school lesson.... the feeling was really weird seriously.... kinda painful andi also felt as if something was sitting on my chest , even writing this entry seem so difficult... i feel as if a flood gate has just opened.... all sort of memories are just flowing through my head now... all the time that i spent in boon lay sec sch... all not good though but they are all memories...sure there are the sweet ones too , which always overpower the uglier ones...

it just feels it was yesterday that i entered that school . the fear of being in a whole new environment, the fear of making new frens ,the fear of change, the fear of not being accepted, the fear of not being able to cope ( academics/physical/emotional/social) arr and a million other foolish thing . which now i can laugh them off...

yes life in boon lay was hard at first ... but isnt everything.... making new frens /fighting with them/ patching back all the different faces of friendship .... the first time i failed in a subject ... eee i still remember that day i was cryin so hard and afraid to go home... thank GOD for supportive parents.

1/4 , 2/4 , 3/3 , 4/3 , and finally 5na1

so many many frens have i made over the years all the memories that we have carved on stone most of them will fade in time to come but i am very sure i will never forget all the time i spent with my wonderful classmates . my sweet sweet darlings whom life in sec sch would be a bore ... we have been in the smae class for 3 years not most of the for 5 yrs though ... but the time does not matter , i sure did make excellent frens and would never trade them for anything in the world....

time spent with my dearies... sec 3 camp , national day most patriotic class winners 2 yrs running ( 2004 , 2005 ) and syf, bb matches , holiday inn lunch, sentosa trips where mel so really burnt ... still remember ( fried moo moo )and trips to town... countless shopping trips and racial harmony day , and yes there was grad nite where the everyone in the class was drop dead gorgeous ...

i withness something painfull today ... i saw all the memories of 5 na1 bundled up in blue sheets being thrown away... the sight was so so so so so so so time a zillion times painful....but like all good things this must also come to a end... i don want ever to wake up from this dream... here everything is just fine the way i want it... i hate change i don want change... and there was once someone who told me this " the only thing constant in life is change " very through we just have to suck it up ., pull our tummies in and continue walking...

i don knoe wad i want to do after my o levels .... i am so afraid ... i need comfort so bad... i need ______ ...

nostalgic daniel over and out....

banished

prom nite

2005-10-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

thursday was just purely magical ... never knew boon lay secondary school could throw such a wonderful well planned party ever... it was vava-voom.... it started off a little blen but as soon as dinner was over theparty began .... there we played a weird version of bingo... and theband played " project peanuts and amber and me" they were alrite ... amber and me sure stole the spot light .... we also were able to select the prawn i mean prom king and queen .... han xian and durga won.... they had complete support of the 5 na... i believe the 5 na students are an extra ordinary batch of ppl . perfect in everyway and no one is more united then us ... even if we have our differences we work then out . and i was in a state of photo frenzy ... i took pics of everything.....

everybody was decked out in their best ... there were some who spend big bucks on the way they look esp in my class . the gals most of them looked wonderful... never knew alicia had the goth sprit in her ... and anna she looked stunning in her dress ... for the first time at least a whole new side of her. mong hong it is the first time i saw her in a dress.... mel and wan er no word can describe....

the guys ... ek sinong talior made suit was nice in ivory, the bballers all wore long sleeve and our dear kamal th leader of the kassim team was in all black with his bling bling.... htet win and i wore the same kind of jacket he bought his in queensway i both mine in paragon... arrr... he paid half the price for it i was so so conned ... but it looks nice so wad the heck...love it all the more

when the dance floor was opened it was total madness ... all the jumping screaming and loving was so so so cool .... nic and i were shakking our boody to techno and house beats ... and it was just wild .... loved it so much i invited mdm suzila to dance she sure can shake ... another side of her i have never seen.... but like all good things the party had to end ... but being the 5/1 we are ... we had an after party at k box were we boozed a bit ... found out that some ppl cant hold liquor at all ... lol ...

took a cab back ... with alvin and sock ping.... reached home abt 2 and when to school abt 10 the next day ... a self declared half day off

here are some pics of the night.......

thats all for now... i will sure miss my frens alot... they are all life wires...

its over for now .... but yucks ...

2005-09-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

prelims are finally over ... good or bad news i do not knoe how to judge ... but all i knoe is that apitizer is over and that the main course is ever so nearing ... cant wait for desert though .... ok this makes me sound so hungry... figurative speech....

ok enough with that today the last prelim paper was over and done with .... it was ok not too bad.. one grp of ppl are telling me that the prelim is used as a gauge of how i will doing for my o level , the other grp is telling me that the prelim is way harder than the o level .... wad should i believe ... so so so confused

i have found out that i am completely clueless abt wad i want to do in the future ... i feel that i have a calling to go into the business feild , but i always wanted to work with ppl and possibly change their life ...but is that wad i really one ... wad do i want i have no idea at all
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something that interest me now is the cindy sheehan
i when to her website http://www.truthout.org/cindy.shtml

an extract from that page

The president says he feels compassion for me, but the best way to show that compassion is by meeting with me and the other mothers and families who are here. Our sons made the ultimate sacrifice and we want answers. All we're asking is that he sacrifice an hour out of his five-week vacation to talk to us, before the next mother loses her son in Iraq.

-- Cindy Sheehan, Camp Casey, Crawford, Texas

i feel so sad for this woman all she is trying to do is to find answers and why is she still protesting is bcos she has not got her answers yet . why cant the government answer her , she with several other mothers wad they want- PEACE . is it too much to ask .... is the love of peace a sin . if it is why . so many questions so so so little answers.... the song ' where is the love' by black eye peas comes to mind

Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other,
deny thy brotherA war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret,
it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)

Where's the love, y'all

where is the truth behind all this... most importantly where is the love behind all this , the world is going to be beyond redemtion. the only way we can stop this is by praying and have faith in the almighty GOD , and the used to be powerful word 'peace' . throughout ages people have been fighting for peace . so many generation have died and passed on but has the world ever been in peace . NO wad is the reason behind this ... we should find for peace in ourlife time or our existance is worthless.....

a message to the matrys who have died in the name of peace .... your death will not be in vain ....

wad is wrong with this world

2005-09-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

WAD IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD THAT WE ARE LIVING IN
i read this article in the the todays news paper that disturbed me terriblely

The price of peace

I was terribly disturbed when I read the article on the todays newspaper ( 28 sept o5 ) pg 18. the article was on the arrestment of an anti iraq war campaigner Cindy Sheehan ( a mother whoses son died for war )with 370 other peace activists outside the white house when they were protesting . it was a peaceful demonstration and yes these people were warned not to continue. And it is obvious why they continued to protest .- it is because nothing was done about it .

America in my view is a country that preaches peace , and yes a brother and friend to all the countries in the world . to se your fellow brother get hurt in war , seeing all the heartache that war has caused and all the destruction that has happened is very disheartening .and not forgetting the cost both of life/money

The last estimate of how much the war cost

The War in Iraq Costs the United States

$197,472,380,708

Instead, we could have fully funded global anti-hunger efforts for
8
years
The Cost of War calculator is set to reach $204.6 billion at the end of fiscal year 2005 (September 30, 2005).

so much more could be done to help improve the world but the money exhausted on war deprived the world the privilege of going to greater heights. Has not America done enough , it has got rid of the tyrant leader saddam Hussein she has also set up a new government in iraq and also reduced any chance of a civil war . what more is there and even if there is why not do it from home soil ( America ) why must the military still stay on in iraq .

we must never forget the blood that has been spilled due to this war . nothing ever good has come out of a war before .there might be some better changes but the end result would be the same death and loss both of property and most importantly life
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Four U.S. troops died in Iraq on Tuesday 7th September 2005 , bringing the total of Americans killed in the 18-month-old war to 1,002.
According to a CNN tally, 1,129 coalition troops from 15 nations have died in Iraq
This means that more than 2000 families have lost their loved ones to the war .so many man , woman and children have died in this war .why continue the war even after seeing all the harms it has caused .

Stop the War in Iraq
We advocate fundamental changes in U.S. policy in Iraq that will bring out troops home safely and quick AND promote the creation of a sovereign and peaceful Iraq.
The wisest course for the U.S. in the war in Iraq is to promptly initiate a phased withdrawal of troops and unequivocally declare it has no intentions of maintaining a long-term military presence. The Administration should announce a plan to end the occupation that includes target dates for troop withdrawal as well as how it will meet economic and military objectives. To serve both U.S. and Iraq's best interests, the U.S. must transform its military occupation into an Iraqi-led, regionally backed, and internationally supported effort to achieve stability and a representative government. A phased, total troop withdrawal in the near term is an essential first step.

War is never inevitable . I believe it is a choice ,both to those who start it and those who want to end it . isn’t world peace what the world is looking for .what the world needs now is peace and for all the death to end .

this is just my rant sorry us government or any other if offended

http://www.winwithoutwarus.org/html/new.html#theylied
http://costofwar.com/index-world-hunger.html
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/09/07/iraq.main/

poa paper and the up coming PROM

2005-09-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

15 october everybody seems to be fuzzing over it .... everybody seem to be fussing over wad to wear ....

(Gals)
where to buy their clothes and how their hair should be, wad shoes to wear with which handbag , ear rings ,makeup the ever endless list for gals .... this is for the gals

(Guys)
it so easy being a guy ... a pair of pants , a shirt ( short/long sleeves) , jacket - optional ... and yes shoes ... and maybe clay/wax for the armani/spike look

i am happy i am all prepared got my clothes

a full view of wad i am going to wear

the highlight how ever would be my jacket at least for me it is

the pocket rocks

stripes and checks

a back view of it

topman rock the band so rocks

classic straight cut codoroy jeans in dark black
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yesterday amul came to my house to celebrate his bdae

the pics of his cake

daniel out
tomolo is poa paper 2 wad the hell am i doing here

2005-09-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

yesterday we when out to celebrate darrens birthday it sure has been a long time since the last time i when out with the gang to booze .... it was sure very fun . though there was stuff said that was very hurting to me ... but i don think i am going to take it to heart . cause i knoe there is sumthing called retribution and all these ppl will get wad they deserve ... trying to be nonchalent

pics that i took yesterday

we had so so so much fun

ah cai and me

the three dudes

china dollies

darren and his tongue

darrens b dae cake

jing yi with her pearly whites

the s.H.e crowd

xinyi and me "clueless

img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y211/sdanielraj/darren%20birthday%20cele/DSCN1643.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
the drink that almost killed darren

cool set up rite and it that then flambaed

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though my feeling were a bit hurt it all does not matter . i had had and the ppl did even though at my expense so wad the heck so be it... cant wait for this darn prelims to be over i need a break from life

preliminary examinations

2005-09-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

it sure has been some time since i last blogged so i thought it was high time i did so ...

the exams sure started of suckyly .... i officially screwed up my chemistry practical. for one when i bubbled the mixture through limewater i did not get my god forsaken ppt ... arrr and i think i wrote rubbish for conclusions... the only up side was the physics pratical which was darn easy...

so far i have done

mother tongue paper 1 (have hope)
mother tongue paper 2 ( have hope)(comprehesion suck)
english paper 1 ( have hope )
english paper 2 ( ok but summary screw up )
maths paper 1 ( graphs / ......) *blur*
social studies ( alrite except for source base question C )
chemistry paper 3 ( screw moles)
physics paper 2 ( F=ma , w=mg ) eeeee
poa paper 1 (confirm lost 10 marks)

papers to be taken

history
maths paper 2
poa paper 2

as u can see i still need lots of brush up ... thank God i did not realise it to late .... now i have to put in complete concentration in wad i do , in order to succeed...

there is still so much revision to do ... and my father is the sweetest man in the whole wide world... he bought me what wad i wanted ... and the best part is that i did not ask him for it nor hint him... write more abt it after my prelims....

thats all for now
back to glue my ass on my books...

i feel good

2005-09-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

i have never felt better in my life before ... all wad i want i now i believe i have ( for now that is ) i got my clothes for prom ... yes after a bit of haggling with my mum to give me more money to buy my clothes ... i am now the proud owner or a coboroy jeans and a glen mavacini jacket ... arr this is so cool thank you jackie jang you are like the best personal shopper in the world ... i never though dressing up could be this much fun but it sure has its hindside . the cost but why borther abt that now ... sry mum i will pay ya back when i start working....

it is true wad she said preparation for prom cost more than the ticket itself... this is so so true

the past few days included studyin ( bits ) the spa at city square ... lots of dining and several trips to my grandma's place and i am proud to announce that i completed my first course of anti biotics in my life ... i usually forget or don give a dam abt after the 3rd day ... but this time no i completed it ...

i love the ppl around me so much esp my family and my jtps rockers which include hid , salah , mel, rashid , mah lin yang ... and so many more .... the world is a better place becos of you peeps ... i really miss boozing with mama and gang ... miz them so so much ...

i need to concentrate on my studies and really put in my all into studyin ... that is my goal and that is wad i need rite now.... if my muse is reading this come to me dear ... i love you to bits ... off to watch a bit of tv then back to the books ...

arrr bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks bks .....
STRESSED

2005-09-02T04:20:00.000-07:00

i am strong that is wad i should remind myself , at least that is wad i am tryin to think. i when for my wisdom tooth extraction today. the pain is beyond believe the pain is now not only in my mouth but now in my ear head and my throat the pain ... is like FUCK

but i just have to go through with it .... i would not want to put my other teeth at risk . the dentist told me if i do not remove it my other tetth will go zig zag... i really would not want that to happen to me ... so i agreed to the surgery . it sure did not hurt during the the 'op' but not it hurts like fuck .... i am trying to put the pain out of my mind... listening to real loud techno and blogging with the pain killers it is a perfect combo to the start the one week sept holidays/intense study session

nothing much happen this week , not much of school very little outings and lots of stoning at home.... aiyo i really need to study ... i need to study but where do i start ... i think i can figure out history , social studies , and combi science ... but wad abt maths i just suck in it... but it is unlike of me to give up that easily so i will press on and i will be fruitful ...-i hope

how am i going to spend this week ... lets see wait for my swelling to go down , do lots of studying and maybe a go for a massage ... i really need one ...

till later and still in pain
signing off
Daniel

teachers day ....

2005-08-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

today my school blss had its teachers day celebration.... the usual stuff lots of dancing and lots of high pitch sqeaking (singing ) and a drama......

the day before teachers day ( apple shopping )
sat in school till abt 5 on tuesday watching them practice for teachers day ( sneak preview ) it was alrite ... did not want to go back home ... so i stayed back at school... was with marlyn and slacked with her ... sang abt goofed a bit... and talking to every passing soul and after that i remembered that i should do sumthing for my favourite teacgers of the school.... a thought came to me .... little lulu - i remember lulu gave an apple to her teacher .... so i thought why not ; apple seems kinda cool anyway ....

i when the concert preview was over ... marlyn and me when to liberty to buy apples ...choosing apples aint easy ... were have to see that it is not blemished , 'hurt' , and must have a stalk to tie my note around .... i bought 15 apples - 10 red 5 green ... spend the whole evening tagging them and writing notes on them... tiring but all worth it

ms yap ... was super mean to me and made fun of my english
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the morn of teacher's day the day started with ridiculos classroom yoga ... then at abt 8.40 the concert started... the dancing was cool esp the malay gal ... you rock my sock.. and the ind dance troop the raa raa remix was cool

the dram was very unique as there were hearing impaired students acting in it to ... they are not very different from us ... the only difference is that they cant hear that all beside they are perfectly normal, they are friendly and comforting ... but the thing that i am sad abt is that not many pupils take the effort to get to knoe them , yes it is difficult at first... but after that it will get easier... and it is kinda cool to communicate using your fingers...and body gestures

after the show ended and all the apples distributed, i when to my primary school ... jurong west primary school to see my dear dear mdm loo the best teacher in the world a person who was kind compassionate loving and just plain caring and beautiful ... she was so happy to see us and she wished us good grades and to get into the school we wanted ... she is a wonderful person and my primary six year would not have been the same without you ...

later today i will be meeting my primary school dearies - my beloved frens for abt 10 yrs now... they knoe me so well and we just feel so comfy with one another ...... i wonder wad should i wear bohemian ... i wonder

off to ponder...

time to say good bye

2005-08-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

my gosh ppl show such great interest in wad i write... but they so forget wad blogging is all abt . i it abt pouring your feeling on an online diary ( at least for me it is ) . and most importantly it is my fucking feelings if ya cant handle wad i write then... don visit it . nobody ask ya to anyway . and if ya really disagree with wad i write then you can get your own account and blog in it not at the expense of my tagboard and hurr if ya are reading this i have deleted your tag already ... but i really encourage ya to fuck off and don get your tiny self all over this ... ok

it is high time i put a disclaimer on my blog... i think it is necesary really.. wad i write in my blog is completely my business . if ya don like wad you read then why continue reading it. this is the point i don get . don i have the right to blog abt how i feel abt sumone or a particular situation. or is it like i need ppls permission b4 i do so ... aiya some ppl are just so weird ... there is sumthing call the freedom of speech and guess wad i am lovin it

to hurr whoever ya are buzz off dude . you are just a insect
chee woon if ya want to play this game i am all ready dude B I O !
____________________________________________________

ok back to the happenings of the week , this week is a rather sad week i knoe abt 2 deaths, one was my neighbours father and the other a schoolmates father. my neighbours father died of lung cancer thanks to over smoking... i don knoe why ppl are so ampt abt smoking ... don they knoe that they are killing themselves and the ppl around them slowly . all the poisons in that one stick would one day accumulate into a cancerous tumor.... i have lost my grandfather and a close fren to lung cancer ... it is heart breaking to see a fit young man all reduced to bones lying on a bed waiting for his life to slip away . the slight is very saddening and painful... each time i see my frens smoke i really wish i could bring one of these ppl back to advice them abt the harms that smoking brings to you ... but all i have now are just pictures of these ppl . there is a sayin " you can only bring the mule to the water , it has to drink on its own " all we can do is tell them ... they should knoe wad to do ... smokers if ya are reading this STOP . you would be saving lots of money and also your life

the week i believe was ok beside some hiccups during the ca's but it is all alrite now... cant wait to go to balans wedding tomolo ...

i need time to study ... ss is on monday arrr

i nee TIME

anguish

2005-08-16T01:09:00.000-07:00

i woke up not at my usual time ... it was like an hour later mum woke me up at 6 ... so rushing ... i hate my sis , she hogs the toilet like nobodys business... the walk to school was so refreshing .. i should stop taking the bus and should start walking to school more often... the fresh ( ok maybe a bit polluted ) but it is like way better than in air in the afternoon ... i miss the times when i was holidayin in India ... when i got to stay in one of the kalista palaces of the maharajah of mysor, it was just plain beauty.... the air , the surrounding , the service , the food is was just like a dream in the 3 days spent i felt that i was living in heaven. i miss that time so much .

i so need a holiday ... let it be thailand , puket ,bintan i just have to get out of this country ... i so badly want to relax and unwind ... i want to feel the cool breeze against my face as i dig my feet in the the warm sand . i cant wait for the exams to be over ... oh how badly i need a holiday

ok enough with that . school was ok today . i really think if mr mohan does not insult me or poke fun at me he wont be able to sleep .... but he is sure a funny teacher , i find it very easy to toture him with my french and hindi which he taught me .... he always says that i kill the language... i really hope i can get a good grade for my tamil for him at least he has been so nice to me for the past 3 yrs the least i can do is , give him a good grade. i will try my best and prove him wrong ... but i must really buck up and start doing my tamil work more seriously.... I JUST HAVE TOO

my english teacher ms yap is like the most paraniod person in the whole wide world ... she told us today to mark her words abt a terrorist attack on city hall... and that she always runs out of that place fast if she is there ... paranoia ... and tell tells the cutest jokes

today straight after humans was autographing time in 5 na1 ... it was a freny ..... i have never signed so many times in a day ever ... my class is like the best ...we so rock blss ... it wont be the same without us blss.... and the prom is stupidly pricedfor being held in school....sucks to like tha max....

i so need to rest ... i am so so tired ...

moods

2005-08-14T01:33:00.000-07:00

i am now suddenly in the mood to blog... but my inspiration is not quite there yet . there is so much for me to say but i don knoe where to begin and how am i going to convey it... it feels like when ya in a steam room and gasping for breath very over whelming but at the same time kinda relexing... arr i have no idea what am i talking about....

life , love , lost , misery , joy , pain , despire , friendship , strenght and death are all phases of a persons life.... everyone i believe will in one point or other in their life go through .... but how a person handles these situations is wad actually matters....

on friday i got back my o level mother tongue results ... gosh did that day suck or wad ... i did really badly i got a c6 .. but wadever wad is done is done nothing can chage wad is already done yes it sure sucks but wad the hell can i do abt it.... i will just have to work harder and push myself even more ... i just have to

i just did not want to stay at home on that day .... felt really crappy... i was the a wonderful brightlight blub and lampost for hx and vin... sry dudes.... when to the suki ramen to eat and found out that hx holds the chopstick really weirdly... lol ... hanged around till abt 6.30 at town then when to hope center and send hx and the other gang to the tuition ... after they all when for their class ... i am vin was left alone ... so i decided to visit aunty susan ... who was in glenegles hospital, i felt so sad when i saw her cause i always remembered her as a feisty lady and now to see her in a hospital bed all skinny just broke my heart ... i pray that she will get better fast...after visiting her when back to peace centre and met them ... took the train back home ...

sat

i when to meet pam so happy that she got into singapore dance theater .... be the best ya can be ok ...

sunday

when to church , had had lunch after that then came home straight...

life is so dam monotonous....... i need some colour ... thank ya God for frens esp hid and gang ... i really dont knoe how my life would be with out them....

you peeps make living worth it

the war begins (part one)

2005-08-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

finally the day has come to resume my blogging the long awaited reply is finally here ... thank you . ok now back to my typing .... the pure and mighty being has tagged on my blog sayin

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1)
reave
u r SICK!!yaya..u r saint.the most perfect 1..god..that's what u want right..the 1 with no mistake,1 who only blame..come on.
2)
reave
u're CHILDISH
.if dun lyk u sae it to my face den.nt weeks later- u gotta get his pirorties right..and who the hell r u to scold me..u ain't any better..that all u can do scold n scold..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
reply for tag 1)

the prince has spoken ,may i ask in wad way am i sick mister do you even knoe the meaning of the word sick ... wow you sound so much like yourself the one supreme being which is always rite .i admit i am far from perfection ... but that cant be said of you rite ... anywhere in my blog did i state that i would want to be raised to the level of a god ..... nah i don remember by any chance . and for your information i did not blame you in this entry .. i was just stating your character . never did i blame ya for it.... i accept the fact that i am flawed but i cant say the same about ya ....

reply for tag 2)

i am childish ... no i don agree i am child like there is a difference you knoe. an di completely don get wad ya mean about me sayin it to your face and not weeks later ... i catch no ball of wad ya tryin to say ... and wad is it abt getting my priorities rite , i believe i have mine all in place . and please you consider that entry as scolding , you gotta be jokin i stated very clearly that they were my rants and at the end i wrote that it was also a tribute ... why would i want to scold ya . it is not as if that it would work and also it would be a complete waste of my time . all i do is scold and scold ... what am i MAD ...

ENTRY ENDS HERE
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when to mama's house for a steam boat dinner and the best part we could see the tails of the fire works from her balcony it was wonderful mama realy knows how to throw a party ...super cool lady mama you rock jing yi you too . thanks for inviting me ... really enjoyed myself

i did not have time to blog abt our class winning the most patriotic class competition 2nd year hands down .... my class just rocks thanks to the ommitted ppl such as mag and team and eksiong and team you ppl just rock... see ya on school on thursday ... take care peeps

a message to chee woon

2005-08-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

this entry would be pure rants abt him

to chee woon AkA ex-buddy

finally found out that ya got a blog... wow interesting i wonder wad you would be writing in it ...hmm let me guess how patethic you are and how the world is against you .. and how you are little mister misunderstood... pls la ... you aint that great and pure , all i see in you is pure dirt... gosh can a person get so low... and that word is just an understatment..

i cant believe that you yourself don get wad you did wrong ... and i expected you to find out and just tell me that you were sorry ... but that i knoe would never happen .. cause that is just so above you rite..!! and in most of your entry you are sayin that you will not change ... and that we should accept the way you are or just get lost / move away.... if you cant get where i am going this is one of the many reasons you are always left alone....

and don protray yourself as the person who is always hurt ... in the act of making your other frens happy .... gosh please who are you kidding ... tryin to earn sympathy from your peers .. the part which i cant comprehend is the fact that you don get wad you did and have no idea wad you did wrong ...

a thing that you did that i will never forgive is the fact that when i sent ya a sms askin if ya have studied you replied in a way that was just pure painful... you replied sayin are you reassuring yourself or is this genuine concern .... it might have been nothing to you but do you knoe that statement hurt me alot ... wad ever gave you the thought that i am going to step on your head and rise to the top .... that really hurt me alot ... and knoe since that this once beautiful friendship is OVER . i am not worried sayin this out loud... pls la you have hurt me so so much and this is one of the many incident where you have hurt me... i gave in so much to you and you had your ways i never questioned you .... but when i read your blog ... arr so much anger i felt in my veins

a prelude first ... since the humans(for the history student) remedial was before poa remedial our teacher mr soh pushed the remedial to a later time slot ... but being me i did not go for that class ... but when i came home .... i was reprimanded by chee woon , and there he was trying to make me understand his point of view , but chee woon you don get the fact that when you are putting forth your idea you should stop and listen to wad others are sayin ... if you don want to accept then we cant force ya , but ya have to give others a chance to air their views

quote from " http://happyreave.blogspot.com/ " his blog

after that was poa lesson and went home straight...letting ppl to understand a problem ended up that i am the 1 at fault.well.. i have no denied and accept my fault if there is gracefully but he can't find his..hmm..i dont care le.let this fade away without being notice bah.

so now you are telling me that i am not graceful enough ...please not to boast but i think that i have been gracious enough to your sinful existance ...

there is a breaking point for every human and you have made me found mine
thank you for that ... i now knoe how it feels to be truly hurt ... it is true as the sayin goes " a person's bark can be worse than his bite "

another entry which i would like to comment on is

It's your choice to accept or reject for who i am.I know a person who i had regarded as best friend,so did him.however,the things that he do i accepted,the sorrow i had cleared.however i am not people's guardian angle,neither am i a person who can take all the sorrows.everytime i helped people i had to take another chuck of sorrow.I ain't perfect.I can't take them all.I am this weak.This is me and i am not hiding it.

do you knoe how contradicting ya ca be ... in the earlier part of this entry you were rambling of loneliness and now you say this ... gosh go and get your head checked up dude ... pls it is for your own good... i don knoe if this best fren ya talking abt in this extract is abt me ... but if it pls the bolded sentence makes me sick, and one thing before i forget if someones says that you are a nice person he/she obviously does not knoe you or have been hurt by you ...
____________________________________________________
message to chee woon
the tribute ends here ... and if ya want to knoe more come and ask me personally ok...

i treated ya like a brother and this is wad i got ... you have made me lose my trust in the word friendship and truly understanding another person beside yourself...
god have mercy on your soul

i will resume writing on a later date

sunburn

2005-08-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

the whole of last week was fun ...... expect for school ...
sat was extra fun as i got to go to sentosa with mama and gang...it was really one heck of a time .... the sun, the, sand and the sea.... ok not too much of sun though ... there was like a huge storm when we were there ... and for the first time in my life i got to see rain approach the shore ... it was like nothing i have seen before ... we scrambled took all over stuff and ran for cover at the beach pub . the staff was frantic trying to close the place down . i was put charge to look after the bucket of ' flyin sarong ' ( real name 'sarong fly') find mine better though . i really poured big time ... ppl were running from all direction tryin to seek cover at that really small pub... felt as if we were in the movie 'storm'

after about 1/2 hrs the rain stopped . the ppl left and everthing when back to normal... could not play in the see doctors instuctions . sorry i did not play with you guys dude... he told me at least 2 days .... i am mama were sitting at the bar drinking shot after shots of sarong fly and after that we opened a bottle of wine. wolfblast ' carbernet savinion ' vintage 2003 was ok la ... only i mama and melvyn drank... 3 of us finished a bottle cool rite ... after a while we all washed up and headed for singapore polo club were we drank more wine but this time was a really good one a 1998 vintage ... that was like so shiok to drink... thanks mama ... she also ordered lots of food . mama also opened a bottle of champane costing a wopping $128 .... we chatted and then she drove us to dino's . my mum loves the pastry from there ... it is really good ... some where near thomson plaza i think ... had dinner there i had their lasksa ... yum yum the she drove me back ... thanks mama and gang for making my day so wonderful ... thanks a million you guys... luv ya to bits

______________________________________________

ms ho declared monday a school holiday since the cultural nite was a success...( huh ) but as good boonlayians we shold take this to our advantage . we planned a trip to "island life i love it" sentosa yes part two ... this time was with my classmates...

the ppl who when was
moomoo aka mel
chicky aka kaman
love novel aka seha
vin disel aka alvin
sourgal aka huixian
monkey aka teck chye ( he won the bb match wad a surprise)
theodor and many more

met another group of boonlayians there at the beach my darling daughter julien and gang ... saw denise and ming hoe was also there.. ppl might not believe it but i piggy backed wendy teo... we had so much fun ... never met a gal who raved so much abt sexual intercourse ... lol lol came to the mrt station .... and meet 2 interesting characters from mongolia ... but that is a whole different story... off to rest now ...
i also had an interesting conversation with an asshole ... arrr i hate that fucker

came back to school today and saw several roasted pigs ... those who are them should knoe who they are ... so take care ok.... look after your skin.... and remember moisturizer...ok

.:- { D@n!eL } -:.

school

2005-07-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

school has been ok ... i believe the last week when ok... nothing fantastic happen though .... lots of bickering in class alot of discontent but wad can i say .. it is 5 na 1 after all ( united we stand ) ta rite... for me all this is turning into bull shit ... but wad can i say... i really starting to believe wad kai juan said abt too many wounds that cannot be healed... figuratively though

when to the dentist that day and guess wad ... i need to have my wisdom teeth removed Yes... teeth ... both my left and right teeth. i am having it removed at de pacfic ... it would cost mt daddy a wopping 800 dollars for a tooth to be removed... and i have to go for surgery twice... ouch ... the up side is a five days mc ... which i so cant use as i am doing it during the sept holiday
... searched through the internet and found a pic of sumone who have the same condition as i do

_____________________________________________________________

cant wait for monday ... my class is having an outing ... wonder why kim(shit) is coming along ... but wad can i say.... wonder wad i should bring there ... and wad would i be doing... cant wait... going with maryln to watch a concert tomolo...

arrr i so need to study... and i hope my father is alrite...

my wondeful class

2005-07-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

today was an easy day in school ... started off with maths and it was the usual .... he screaming ... we doing our work... i don think he likes our class alot....

but the highlight of wad happen started only after school.... ok maybe at the last 2 periods. it was only then where the claws and finger pointing started.... everyone had something to say and i am kinda happy that everything is out... but thinking again wad is the point ... at last we were not able to acheive anything... from how i see it. there will always be the ' great divide ' in the class wad can change that . quote me " it is sure diff to come out of our comfort zone to mingle wad " just don knoe where this all is going... hope everything would iron out itself...

alvin and hui xian are so made for each other .. so romantic ... rock on couple ....the 'soure' of the discussions.... sure disappeared fast........ don knoe where is this all heading . the year where everything is suppose to go rite everything goes wrong .... ironic...

painted several parts of the dragon with kaman .... we rock rite .... the gold, green, red ,white were all painted by us .... so proud of it... i wonder how is mondays meeting gonna turn out...... so much work so little time ... don knoe wad to do..

.......................................................................................................................................

to denise thanks for helping me with the blog ... you did a splendid job on it is so beautiful . thanks a million ... you got to teach me how to do it someday okie... and all the other tricks of the trade ...

back

2005-07-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

i waiting for my new blogskin to be done.... it is being custom made by denise ... rock on gal... so much had happen over the last few weeks ... but now with all that behind me it is time to move on...

for some weird reason.... i am enjoying school ... the company i keep and lessons just seem so fun.. make me wanna go to school .... today lessons were fun , did my english ca4 a letter... wrote abt for pages . i think i when overboard... but handed in the paper to mrs lim koh to put it on ms yap's table ....

after school had my remedials started of with chem . the teacher in charge is such a comedian ... very sweet lady mrs sin ... answers all my questions and cleared all my doubts.. if the o level is only abt organic chem i am very sure i will do well... the remedials were back to back just as chem was over physics began.... mr yip is a wonderful teacher.... i and kaman are a good pair we managed to do all the mcq question on radioactivity...... cool in record time

me yip looked so tired after the class was over so were we... he was also losing his voice... i and kaman when to jurong point and had dinner there at mcdonal ...we talked abt so many things.... the class, ppl and so much more....

now back at home blogging .... so tired and washed up ...
i so need to sleep .... mr bong you rock ...

yadayada

2005-07-18T02:22:00.000-07:00

when to school today and everything seems to be working in favor of me . i am just so so happy . i do believe i got my spark and i am finaly sitting down and studyin ... during lesson we were setting our goals .... but first let me type abt
interesting characters i met not face to face though ....

first is " your worst nightmare "

Fucking Christ you make baby jesus cry. Before you flame make sure you know basic english and have an IQ higher than 3, fucktard. I bet your teen angst is a direct result of incest in your family.It's no one's fault you were raped anally by your father . Don't take it out on other people. I know its hard to imagine yourself being loved, but someday someone might just accept you for the retarded dipshit that you are. OH WHO AM I TRYING TO KID, THAT'D NEVER HAPPEN.

wow this person seems so so angry don worry . i will pray for ya and yes i will try to change and be a better person for you . since you care so very very much for me. and want me to be a better person . you are god sent . thanks a lot . and i am very sure you got the wrong person . i am very sure my father did not fuck me ... i personally believe that you need help , a good doctor would be very useful .

and another character is "anonymous"

he/she said bitching behind the monitor i see? got your penis stuck in your asshole dude? your a guy for fucks sake face up to it. oh yah and your photos? try be more manly it would attract the wrong gender

penis stuck in my asshole ... gosh that sure would be difficult. never tried though care to share your experiences.. and the pics i take is non of your fucking business... stuff it up your ass dude ... if ya don like seeing it just dont who is compelling you to do so ...

and another person would be ms jenna

hmm wad can i say even if i am tryin to drop this thing i doubt she would want to. though i have ppl around me who hates me , but by number i am sure it exceeds the number of ppl who hate ya ... but wadever and yes you are smarter .... SO .... wadever....

messages to my new found frens .... why hide behind a nickname . come on be manly( refers to both gender ) enough to type your real name.... if not please just .... how do i put this FUCK OFF...

I KNOE YOU HAVE MY INTEREST AT HEART BUT BACK OFF YOU 'R SO NOT WELCOMED HERE...
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richomond came up to me saying for me to end this fight and for everything to be over ... i did agree with him and wanted to end it all and start off with a clean slate . coming home and reading my blog tells me that you aint interested in that . not even ending it off ... so lets see how this works out.......

feelin perfect

to jenna

2005-07-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

when to jenna's blog and lets see wad should i said the all powerful/mighty jenna had something to say abt my english

this is wad i wrote for thoese who missed it

_ _ _ N _ you are such a fucking bitch go and hump yourself against the wall you heartless turd you are so not worth , wonder why people still hang around and mix with you . you deserve to be alone . money ain't everything bitch i knoe exactly why people hate you .... guess again not everyone likes you ... and guess wad i heard it for the people closest to you . this is so not worth it And for the last time i am not gay why do i have to explain anything to you . you don waste my time and don go round spreading things you yourself are not sure abt ...... for fuck yourself ..... pls la change yes you sure knoe how to bitch abt thing .... people must see your true colours ... and i am not afraid to tell them.... but why waste my time and energy ....... you ain't worth it BITCH say wad you want abt yourself don pull me in .... you cant keep a secret .... you cant even keep a pin .......... why act dumb the last time i asked you abt it ... running away from wad you said ........ go creep sum where else ...... if ya have any question come ask me ..... but a second thought no dont .... i don want to be filthy .... the sight of you makes me irks..... you are a big fat liar ....... bitch burn in hell .
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i am very sure people who read this would knoe wad i am tryin to say ... but according to the high and mighty .... this is was she had to say..

now now, i don't know how and why you keep making it seem as if your english is totally perfect. but OMIGOD ITS TERRIBLE. you wanna flame me, at least do it in decent english. i can list at least 10spelling errors and at least 10 more grammar mistakes. stop thinking so highly of yourself lah. wake up. have you realised how much you are contradicting yourself? i suggest you dont even bitch about me when you don't even understand yourself. i wonder how in the world others are gon comprehend what you wrote

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now it is my turn to comment ... for the record ppl do get wad i mean for example YOU . didn't you get wad i was tryin to say.... hmm... so wad is i have errors in my entry . i still managed to get wad i wanted to say across rite... point* and for the record you are the one with the NON-EXISTENT BALLS . cause i am very sure i have mine... yes i would not want to subject myself to your verbal assult. why should i ,that would make me a fool ... i am really sad that god did not give me the gift of gapping like he gave you.... but wad can i say rite... nvm, at least i am doing well in my NA stream .... rather well to say ... you can wait all you want the moon will never turn blue for you .... yes two can play a game ... esp when you are the one who started it... CARRION

Feeling perfect :)
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now with that aside... yesterday when to collect an award for doing well in my 'n' levels ... that was so cool but the prize was not a 150 dollar gift voucher from popular.... after that came to jp met hafiz han xian adrian and chinming for a movie ... we watched fantastic four ... not bad... comedy meets science fiction.... FLAME ON ... when to church today ...and now back at home blogging . wonder wad the future holds for me....

off to study later...........

.:-{ D@n!eL }-:.

listening compr " this big 'O's "

2005-07-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

back home after short day at school . school was over at 12.40 and the last lesson was english my favorite subject . ms yap is such a jovial person .... hahaha and she is also very against alvin ( according to him as she gave him 6 marks for oral ) i would have given a 9 though it was not bad....

i do not why situations always put in in very horrible positions ... don knoe why i was made to sit behind him in class ... during english lesson to . and when he turned back to look at anna ( she sits behind me ) he glanced at me so did i . but i am very sure now that . everything that once existed is now completely loss.... should i be happy or sad , i wonder. do i give a dam now i really do not knoe.... i have moved all my books from the front to the back of the class already.... does that mean anything... so so so confused

guna and i walked to the bus stop and then took a bus to the coffeeshop near my house . i bought the usual mixed rice . while he bought duck rice ... came back to my house and ate here ... and as usual she when to complain abt how untidy i was .... she has to do this with everyone who i bring home

was chatting with jingyi ... she and pam are planning to set up a club at club house at her condo ... so exciting ... bouncers bartenders deejays the real deal ... and best of all it is by invite only how cool is that... lets see how the whole thing folds out this is just so so cool ... cant wait.....

off to school ... to do my listening compre ... how it goes all well and i pocket my 10 marks..

friendship

2005-07-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

if there is one thing i have learnt in secondary school is that ... things never last forever

friendship for that matter is actually non existant ....

today while surfing the net and through my friendster account i saw my once used to be best frenz profile . and the testi i wrote for him in wad i refer to as the " honeymoon" part of a friendship . wow now readin it actually makes me wonder was i ever like wad i wrote . did i mean it at that point of time . was that friendship really meant to be.... it is the friendship like wad my mum kept for so many years ..... how did she make it last more than 20 years. at times i wonder why is she so lucky .... how is she able to mantain such long durations of friendship...it really leaves me in awe ....

people might not believe it .... but to this certain fren i treated him like a brother . but one of his flaws is that always think that he is right and everyone else on earth is wrong ... and the worse part is that he thinks that the whole world is against him... having him as a fren was a challenge to me ... and for the first few months yes it was wonderful ..... but as time when on ... it started to go haywire ..... something that really moved me into being his frens is the fact that he was there i when i needed someone to talk to badly the most... at that point of time i believed that he was God sent ... yes i will never forget wad he did for me... thanks alot for that ... but towards wad i presume was the end of the friendship it was more of a curse than a blessing .....

yes at times i do regret having this friendship brocken .... was it for the better ? did it makes thing worse ? was this wad i really wanted ? .... was this wad he wanted ? was that the reason why he was a jerk to me ? .... i don knoe and i will never knoe

yes i am not sayin that i am perfect i have my complete set of flaws ....
friendship wad does it actually mean ?
wad is it ?

anyone has an answer.................................

engaged

2005-07-11T00:31:00.000-07:00

yesterday was really magical ........
as every other sunday i when to church , after service when to have lunch with ping siong and his mum . this was the first time which to actually allowed his mum to follow us for lunch . and for sure he had his reasons... totally a screwed idea... met pinny at s11 she when to collect the blouses for the engagement later that evening ...

walked to pinny's house is the blistering heat ... and was warmly greeted by the jacky ( the house dog ) he has grown so much since the last time i saw him.... after resting for a while it we walked to the hair saloon my mum, pinni and sumi my cousin had their hair blown . it was really beautiful.

when there by cab ... cant believe that balans weeding suit cost 2000 dollars it looked so so plain ..... i really think it was a waste of money ... the food there was not bad ... the riverside tandoori was wondeful....... after the ceremony was over the dance floor was open ... gosh it was fun ... really really fun i am suja ... was dancing like tomolo ... cant imagine rite... shiok to the max the vodka was really doing its job....

reached home past midnight...... ploped onto my bed
zzzzzzzzzz.....

today woke and and when to school ... julien is sick hope ya recover soon gal . lesson was the usual sucky and mrs wong gave us a worksheet " are you sending the right message " which i would be blogging abt soon... super lame man . met brian after school and had lunch at jp long john sliver.... now back at home ...

anger

2005-07-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

What Should I Do If I Get Angry?

Don't lose control if you get angry. Taking it out on others never solves anything. Instead, admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure out why. What can you do to keep the situation from happening again? If your little sister gets a toy and you don't, it's not OK to break that toy. Maybe you can ask her to share it with you. Or if your science homework is too hard, don't rip up your notebook. Ask your teacher or a parent for help instead.

It helps to talk about your anger with an adult, such as a parent, teacher, or relative. Once you talk about anger, those bad feelings usually start to go away.

Anger Busters
Here are some other things you can do when you start to feel angry:

talk to a friend you can trust
count to 10
get or give a hug
stamp your feet
beat up a pillow because the pillow can't get hurt
draw a picture of your anger
play a video game
run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can
sing along with the stereo
pull weeds in the garden
think good thoughts (maybe about a fun vacation or your favorite sport)
take a bike ride or go in-line skating

Never getting angry is impossible. Instead, remember that how you act when you're angry can make the situation better or worse. Don't let anger control you. Take charge of it!

read abt anger and stuff really hope this helps someone.....
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today is one of thoese days that i refer to as complete stoning .....
as the words i did lets see absolutly nothing . woke up at about 11 and had carrot cake for breakfast... sending the rest of the day as a "couch potatoe chip"...

father when to bintan for work , mum and sis are in church . i am alone at home ... sufing the net ,chatting and slacking ...

one thing that i have learnt is that . life is not all about going out stayin in at times also can be fun . and relaxing... couching on the sofa can be way more relaxing than walking down at town....

tomoro is balan's wedding bz bz day tomolo ... wishing him all the best ...hope i would be able to do all the rites correctly . the last thing i want is for sumthing to go wrong .......

cant wait for tomorrow .........
life is too short to live the same day twice............