cease my soul

angst

i am i so filled with rage , why do i feel this way - i have a feeling that i am going to lose a fren becos of our differences. i know i am different , my views on morality , sexuality , Christianity all vary from what you ( the norm ) believe. i have a feeling a fight is inevitable i am one message away from a total blow up. shit i have no idea why i am allowing to get to me.

this is not who i am , yet i am so comfortable in that skin . yes i know its wrong and know the right thing to do i change and yet i see no need to. i am not attacking what ever he says , i think i lose several people in the quest of knowledge. was it wrong for me to ask such questions , am i allowed to speak up and share my opinions ? or am i suppose to suppress them and take the back seat like i always have

i know it sounds all girly and all but i really wish this friendship last.

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if you are reading this and i think you will - it just feels that i don't fit in there or anywhere anymore

i know that you will be all that you said you will be and so much more , be strong , be brave , be all that you can be

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i know when i am being used though i smile and talk to you - and yet i still enjoy the feeling of being trampled upon... aiya it aint even worth it talking to you any more ( only required when you need my help for your gain ) ....

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GOD on high hear my prayer
hear my prayer
in my need
you have always been there

dont turn your back on me now
ok great father of all nations
you have granted me peace and
and taken it all way at the same time

all hope is destroyed for me
i use to say count your blessings
name them one by one and yet
now i feel that i have non yet in mylife

all good things are around us are sent
for you above - and all pain and sufferings
are cause of sin. why do i have a problem
believing that anymore...

though art the GOD that giveth and taketh
away - take my unbearable pain away dear
lord i have tried almost everything
submitted all to you and yet i have no relief

i have no idea where my faith is turning to
more towards you are further away from you
, the more closer i wanna get closer to you
my pain and Karna desires tear me away from you

help me oh great healer
help me oh great healer
or take me up to oblivion
i have no more desire for
life anymore