the paper

the long awaited day was finally here ... i waited 4 1/2 years just to do this paper . really don knoe how well i did it though ... but wad is done is done i am not going feel down if i get a bad grade ... i did put in effort and i think i did my best . so nostalgic but wad can i say ...

mixed feelings

being alone in the afternoon gave me time to think about my friends .and sure at time i think alot but i just can't help it. thinking of everyword people have said to me and how it has affected me . obviously in several ways ... but i should so stop brooding over it. i really wish i can talk to him and tell him wad i actually feel about his behaviour and him in total . but wad can i say the feelin is terrible and eating my insides . drop it while its hot .. i cant do it he is my friend my dear friend how can i do it . so many questions , so much of problems, so much of emotions (mixed) - but absolutly no soultions at all ... arr this is crazy ...

why do you always love competing wad kind of 'high' do you get ... is it euphoria ... please all i want to do is knoe wad is in your head . ok it might sound weird a guy saying this but wad is the dam point being first ... yes i knoe wad ya thinking ( sore loser making himself feel good) news flash .this is so not me . i excel is ways that does not requires the body ... yes i knoe my limitations but really wad is the point of being first in a race ... does/will it help you when you go into the work force . is your boss gonna ask you how many races you participated in and wad position you came in... gosh this is so lame ... wanna prove someone use your fucking brains not ya body ... so wad if ya have a 6 pac and bices .... lets see how long will that last ... the body will leave you but wad will stay with ya till the end if ya knoe wad i am sayin.

the person i am directing this to should knoe who he is ... trust me i am typing this after much delibaration . and if i have offended you in anyway i am sorry . but i can never say this to your face and there is much more which i can't even type abt . i wish i could say it to you straight , but wad can i do . i knoe the way i put across stuff will hurt you . and i never want to see any of my darling friends hurt . i will be crushed .... and pls dont tell me just to tell it to you straight . i don want this friendship to end with ya hating me for the words that spouts out from my mouth ... gosh that will be cataclysmic ....

to all my friends who are reading this ..... trust me i love each and everyone of ya and i count you all as blessings added to my life . i never had a chance to show how much i appreciate you .. and to the peeps i don talk to often don ever think i have neglected you . i have not - just have not come to ya yet. love ya all my god-family my daughter my dear bros and sis ... love ya all darlings... with all my heart and breath ....

and for the people who do not knoe wad kind of love i am talking about pls don bother ....

i could have looked it at a complete diff point of view from how you see it correct me if i was wrong . but i am hungry for knowledge and a greater understanding of the people around me... all i want it to be a good friend to you so we can have a greater understanding of one another... pls understand my intentions there is no hidden meaning underwad i am trying to say... don get me wrong ....okie

but contended with wad ya have though it is difficult to at times parctice wad i preach ... i try to follow it . be happy and remember we only get to live once ... and it is not always abt winning and also take into account that losing gracefully is an undeniable art . which can be " mastered " but the pure of heart. and sure you would have heard this today's failure just paves way to a greater brighter and grander future ...... take care bro... :))

mt paper tomolo

you must really be thinking tomorrow is his darn mother tongue paper wad the hell is he doing typing his blog... duh the usual feelin down so just have to blog abt it to make myself feel better.... interesting way ... rite

today woke up at 6 .30 and got ready and when to church the msg was quite good abt how we should forgive the ppl around us even though at times they can be a fucking pain the the arse ( mind the language ) ... it seems so easy to just listen and try to apply it to my life but when it comes to such a situation it just gets too hard ... i really cant forget wad ppl have done to hurt me ... and all i have to do is forgive WHO MYSELF ... enough with that . i will try my best to follow it but how successful depends on the almighty

after tuition met chee woon and a weirdo ... btw chee woon had his black blet grading today very cool . he did very well . proud of you dude ... see i knew that you could do it. yes ppl might think instead of studyin for the next day's paper you were there sightseeing. the ans is NO . i was actually studyin there . i studied on the mrt and when i reached there all i did was my ten yr series ... GOD i hope i do well .... when it was his turn to ' perform' i clapped very loudly for him... i do not knoe why i always feel like a proud parent when i see my friends do well and excel...just love them all TOO much i think . but do i get this love back i actually don think so . and do i expect it , the ans is no all i ask for is gratitude . is that too much to ask .

the way some ppl have treated me . i have told it abt to some of my other close friends . wad do they say " this kind of person is so not worth your love and care " but i cant bring myself to accept this statment though i do tell it to some of my friends ... i just hate it but wad the hell can i do ... ( for the narrow minded asswipes if you don knoe wad kind of love i am talking abt don concot stories ok . ) the grading was then over .... gosh was i hungry .. but it is all mind over matter... ok that was lame ... when to queensway shopping centre

ok i can hear the gasp ... but don i deserve it i studied the whole week and it was time to make myself feel happy . nothing makes me feel more happy then amassing material wealth .. SHOPPING . gosh i need more clothes shoes and stuff ...met my aunt mum and sis ... and then it was ful blown shopping . i am now the proud owner of a $145 new balance shoe , 3/4 pants $35 after haggling with the owner , more levis undies $14 and 6 pairs of socks $ 24 . gosh i feel good never did my mum spend this much at one go. arrr just so happy when to have dinner

we had:
seafood horfun
satay bee hoon
ba kut teh
bbq chicken
rojak
sugarcane juice

felt too tired so we all took a cab back... the cabs now come with a gps this is so cool ....
chee woon you should have followed i actually wanted you there but nvm ... there is always a next time ... hoping and wishing all mt paper candidates do well for their paper and pass with flying colours and for the ppl who wants more than that .. pls fu*k a tree ....

I HATE BASKET BALLERS URGHHH


PRAYER
God pls be with all my friends when they are doing their paper tomorrow . give them wisdom and patience when doing the paper ...

end of the term

today is the official end of term two . if this was 2003 i would have been so happy but wad the heck o level mt is on monday . this is so stressful... i am doing the ten yr crazyly... hope it all pays off . i am so tired and stressed ... suppose to have pti but my mum was not free and said that she would be collecting it on monday ... now i am fiddling with ernest's mp3 player .... later today i would be going to the gym...

let me just post some of the pics we took ...








this pic was taken in a mrt


ernest the great PMK 'fan' pointing , trying to be a railing cleaner...lol



thats abt it for know wishing all you peeps a happy holidays....

5 more days

5 more days for the start for the mt o level paper
the mt intensive programme in school is kinda fun got to learn lots just hope i would be able all of that crap till the days of the exams . i am so aming for a b3 . and if i get it i am not retaking ... gosh i am so not retaking the paper . there is enough tamil to last me a life time, more than enough........

after school whet to jurong point to meet jing yi , ernest and julien was also there...
they had lunch at delifrance the bistro . gosh it is expensive. i miss the old deco of the place it was wonderful now it feels just like any other cafe. SO COMMON , the pasta the jing yi ordered also was not so nice .... after that walked a bit i had carrot cake at banquet while ( talking abt jing yi's old flame ) lol lol "NCC"

we sat down at mc cafe the place where we signed our contract ...
and as usual took lots of pic of myself


i think i look kind of cool in this




me and ernest always acting cute (his fav brand is PMK)


more pics of me


this is the swatch watch my uncle bought for me and his stupid son scratched it *fucker*
but got it all repaired ... it is so nice and it is BLACK

________________________________________________________________


this is my special friend hidayah

signing off daniel

gayism

yesterday was cool ..... though there were several undesirable happening's at my avva's house i shall not blog abt it

when to jing yi's house to cook it was so cool
the chef includes Ning jing yi
julien koh
daniel ( master chef )
kitchen assistant SITI


jing yi and me


doing up the pasta sous


that is me with the pasta sauce

we had a wonder spread of food
pasta with honey baked ham served with white sauce
garlic bread
vegetable soup
chocalate cake
lychee pudding with meji chocalate
finishing dinner with a 10yr old bottle of wine
and yes there were frence fries

the table was elegantly set by our deco incharge jingyi





pics taken half way through dinner





ok that was all interesting but wad came after was the highlite
we had our own EXTREME MAKEOVER

THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED










don they just look adorable




yes they are no one else but ____________ and _____________


this is me and my bro chee woon...........

hate it

i hate it
i hate the way you treat me , you knoe who you are i don have to spell it out to you. this is unfair to me and your due reward will come and consume you quick . this is too much you really prove the point to me . i am a punching bag even if i don fight back why do you kill me this way . you have really hurt my heart . you knoe who you are . at times i think that it is just me . but this is so not true now . i have given in enough to you .... wad the hell in going on in my life . wad i did or wad i am doing is never appreciated this is just too much ... I HATE IT

I AM SO WEAK INSIDE

I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY I FEEL ANYMORE

i am weak emotionally and it seem that the treatment i recieve today just proves my point. my feelings is never considered at all any where . don you care about me at all. although i may seem to be a happy go lucky person / carefree i do hurt you knoe . the only thing i do is just blame myself and say that i am sorry. yes it does work well most of the time . the other party feels happy while i stab my heart over and over again

my only solace tea i am off to find you . although the truth is so obvious and all infront of me i shall not bend nor buckle... GOSH i am so going to just suck it up and live the horrid life i am living in . help me my exams are nearing ever so close .

HELP me i need you dear Lord

letterbox

the system of the letterbox is kinda cool and kinky ....

enjoyed writing letter to my friends and posting them even if it was at the back of the class this is so very cool ... like that lots .. gosh i come from a super talented class full of ideas and enthu ppl ,... this is so cool hope we win the most beautiful class competition ... and maybe even the model class award.....

i shall not blog abt my results and spoil my mood... school was as usual ... tamil lesson was fun and the workshop was great . did not learn much but sure was a motivation to me ... loved that lots . i am so thrilled that my o level mt paper is 11 days away ... like wad mrs manu said .

daniel shall
breathe tamil
speak tamil
love tamil
dream of tamil
bath with tamil
listen to tamil
be totally indulged in tamil

daniel for the next 11 days is TAMIL

tried speaking tamil from school to the bus interchange and my mouth is still aching ... gosh god knoes how long i will survive

met jing yi and ernest and koh and zhi wei ( joined us later) had dinner at feista ... ok la not bad

guess wad everybody ernest has a admirer ... chris*$%^#@ ...
have fun boyz and do keep me updated okie

my discman where are you

monday

after my last paper which was stupid .... i when to jurong point to have breakfast with chee woon and our plan was actually to go and swim but the weather and the opening time of jurong east swimming complex was not favourable .... so i when home instead cause my shoes got wet and i hate the feelin of that .... ( wet socks) when home cw was using my com while my mum was complaining that i change clothes too often ... ( aint my fault i like wearing fresh clothes )

when to town with cw too meet two other friends of his... at heeren and guess wad i have lost my discman... arrrrrrr sob sob ... the worser news is that i lost my cd collection arrrrrrrr... wad the hell . when to marche with them julien came to join us . she had her own problems ( that a whole different story ) the mood and atmosphere of the area changes when i lost my discman . i regret the statement which i said out of stress.. my gosh this is an excuse.so obvious . i should not have yelled saying that i should have left my discman in your bag. it is my fault i was not thinking abt your feelin when i said that....

after marche the girls left ... i really thank cheewoon for giving me face and staying on and not going home thank you very much . chee woon i know that i have not been a perfect friend and i have done many stuff to hurt your feelings . plz forgive me for all the shit i did knowingly and un knowingly. ok i might have caused you trouble. but yet you gave me face and stayed on thank you for that. ernest joined us and we all had cheepo pasta at pastamania ...

lets put all the unhappiness aside and start anew tomoro ok . i will not get involved between you two . i think i knoe wad when wrong . i shall step aside ... i am sorry and i knoe why for.

you are and excellent fren and i am very grateful for that .... i am sorri for making you do think that yo don like doing...

we met (the four of us when to meet his and azlan at lido and we watched another movie ... the jacket and it was good made me think a little .. so into horror movies now when back by train .. and slacked at mc cafe where the beanie thought ernest was cute * dotz*

tuesday

(marking day
when to school for the perth trip briefing
met chinyi and when to arena for a drink with ernest and wei xiang and mama and zhi wei
left that placed and when to jurong point ....
had dinner at the pizza place now i am back at home typing my blog )**

** example of a lame blog entry

horrors

yesterday i went to watch 'amityville horror' .... found it a bit scary but i find the older version worse ... when with

ernest , zhi wei , jing yi , daughter, chee woon

i found out that a lot of planning was required to watch a NC16 movie with a 14 yr old girl ( my daughter) but it was fun *breaking the rulez if you call it that ..... there were some gory scenes ... yuck... after the movie met mama and she brought us for dinner at taman jurong superbowl where wei xiang joined us ... we had good food there (seafood) ...

here are some of the pics we took


ernest and julien


ernest and me


my daughter and reave


ernest the super blogger http://www.iwantmilk.blogspot.com

it was one heck of a day and tomorrow is the last paper this is so cool ...
then off to swim
then of to TOWN ...

i am afraid of watching horror movie but nothing else excits me more!!

wad a week

the week when by tough , so many sleepless nights , only to sleep at the end to wake up to a mid year paper... my gosh wad is happening to me. i think my studyin is going a bit fine now and it seem that i am having some sort of a study time table . i really hope that this time table will last longer than the one i made last year... lol

the exams are going to be over soon only one paper to go . finally * sigh * just to path way for the big 'O's... are how did you all do it ... it seems to be going so fast the exams are nearing and the time i spend at blss is coming to an end . gosh that is sad....

in this week i have learnt the true meaning of monday blues and friday booze.... this week it was all about my ass hitting the books .... ppl come out with a more interesting way to study and take exams .... there should be a revision in our education system. all the blog entrys i read today . seem to be either rants abt the people they hate , broken friendship , BGR problem (big) , and i believe the blog became a big message board then a diary anymore... but i also came across very good entries on life's lessons which at times makes lots of sense . at time when i reading a blog it seems that they are forced to type and not out of free will ....

some e . g .

" i am so tried not in the mood to blog , so hungry off to eat the sleep "
( this is better of left in your head then on a blog ! )

"my life sux "
( wads with that whoses life does not )

but i also knoe that i am in no position to judge " so if i had offended any one pls don mind me

i have learnt something .... that you should never i repeat never trust a friend with a secret ... and that it the studipiest mistake that you can ever do . cause no one can be trusted ,.... this is to you bitch i repeat BITCH , fuckin bitch i hate you ... and guess wad you are not worthy of my friendship at the end you are the one with no friends at all ... see they are all leaving you ... all thanks to your shit drooling mouth ... but wad can i say shit talking is your trademark. anyway stop spreading stories bout me or GUESS WAD BITCH I WILL DEDICATE MY LIFE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE SHIT.... no amount of money will ever be enough to bail you out of that situation ... gosh arnt you a fucked up sore ass bitch....(don you dare call me or msg me EVER )

sorry bout the language but i think i just had too....

yesterday when out with mama and gang to celebrate wei xiang and zhi wei's b'dae . it was fun mama , richmond , jing yi, wendy , alan , ms koh , me were there ... it was sure a blast and we had lots of fun ..... reminded me of the times gone by .... it was wonderful ... reached home at 1.30++

today woke up at 7 to go out with hidayah to do stuff and break stuff and stick stuff .... hid you should knoe wad i mean .... the rotiboy was good ....

reave and julien happy 1 mth together ... wishing you many more months of joy , peace and LOVE

love you thoese who love me....

just testing out if this really work ... later off to school to do my poa paper... everyone knoes my out come

tribute

this i am writing for the woman who i think is perfect in all that she do , she i my one and only mother. the sweet dearie that brought me up from the day that i was born till forever....

i love her so much that the clouds would not be able to contain , i love her more than the waters in the sea. i love her as much more than the universe combine ... she has been there when i took my first step , she was there when to primary school and she fetched me there everyday, she was there when i fell- she streched out her loving arms to pick me up and comfort me with her soothing words of comfort , wisdom , love , peace , joy and warmth . when i was down she felt down . when i was happy she was there to rejoice with me .

all the thanks and all the treasures in this world would not be able to express the love that she had shown and showered upon me . i love her

i am really sorry for making you worry so much about me, all the naughty things that i had done . though you shout and yell at me i do knoe that deep inside your care and concern is there. i do defie you but i knoe that you always put up with it....

mummy i love you

today is your day may everything go well and may the good lord preserve you .....
she are my blessed .......

off to study chem later meeting my god mama for tea at mc cafe

daniel off

in the mood

after so long i am now back in the mood to blog

the exams are around the corner and i have not found my flare yet .my flare to study has not visited me yet . last year i remember during mid yr 04 . i was so in tune with studyin and was studyin every waking moment . but the year that i need this kind of commitment the most you are not there. i have tried all possible ways to clear my mind but thoughts of things gone by and things to come are all clouding my mind and thought of studyin in all but secondary. i

times i do not believe that i am the same old daniel i used to be . i feel different , i at times feel that i have lost myself to whom i do not knoe, to wad i also do not knoe ... i want myself back so badly i want my smile back . i want to be able to smile and not feel weary and i don want to be behind a mask each time i am with you , i won't blame you that you don notice my predicament.....

the exams were alrite did my english paper 1 & 2 , mt paper 2 , maths paper 1 , is all over . the next paper i am having on monday is chem paper 2 and mt paper 1 ..... i so have to get my ass on my books . i hope i would be able to study ..... (today) there is so many good programmes on TV ...

maybe wanna call frens out to study ...

dear flare,
this is your master calling you , all i want is you right now . come and fill me , come and inspire me ,come and engulf me.....