i'm so bloated

today woke up around 11am today . my back was aching so bad could not get out bed .... so like any dependent son i called out to my mum for help ... and my good mummy came to the rescure . she rubbed the anti -pain gel on my back gave me pain killers and then helped me out of bed

ouch ... today morning was bad as i woke up during lunch time had brunch and then when back to sleep. woke up around 2 . 30 pm juz to rush through my tuition homework which stared 3 and lasted till 5.30 . after that called pam to ask where she was . she said she was at home . i asked he out for dinner . so chee woon came along with us for dinner at seoul garden . had so much of fun there . and learnt that eating wih pam is very dangerous . at time i believe that her plan in life is to make me blind ,she made sure when she was taking soup she would spill out to the pan which allows the oil to splatter. and she told us the greatest joke she told me that she wants tobecome a house wife . wad a joke ......

asked her to buy tickets for a contemparory dance performance at the durian on the 6 th of next month . all 3 of us would be going for the concert ... cant wait my tummy hurts bad after all that food and kinda feel like throwing up now ........arugh feelin sick tomorrow is my darling lizas b day so tomorrow is goona be so booked also ......

God deliever me .... i am in need of rest


.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

pain

my back is aching to the max it is hurting so bad . today morning just had to go to the doctor . when to the poly clinic and i thought that i was early because i was the 1/2 an hr before the place actually opens . to my horror i saw a "Q" with about 25 ppl infront of me . poor me i just had to stand with the pain. when to see the doc he was quite nice and gentle and also gave me 2 days m.c .but i did not use it i still when to school to study. cant afford to miss any lessons

school was boring the climd up to the 4th floor was so painful i took about 10 mins to get up and as soon as i sat down took pain killers and felt a whole lot better

wondered around in jurong point and had lunch in pizza hut with chee woon. he is now sleeping in my place and we are waiting for tuition after that maybe watching white noise heard it is a good movie thats about it for now . and i have to take my pills so ..... chaoz!

.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

neck cram .....

todat school was the usual ... boring did not learn much and the ca's are comin up already this is juz so weird . it feels like ca1 just was yesterday and next whole week is ca's this is too fast ... it is the 2nd months of the year and the o level is nearing like nobodys business and arrrrrr to much of stress

monday
english remedial
house pratice

tuesday
combine humans remedial
tuition ( phy/chem )

wednesday
choir practice

thursday
phy/chem remedial (alt subjects)
tution (maths)

friday
tamil remedial
maths remedial
tution ( phy/chem)

my week is getting so shitty there absolutely no time for myself and the things i wan to do i am jus wondering how pam did it she takes more subjects then me and also had other activities how did she manage to do it my head is hurting so sad and i have been vomiting each time i eat it juz does not digest it is so my fault ................ i so badly wanna lose weight is this a way.. am i doing the right thing .. what am i doin in the first

the thoughts of wad i would be is lingering in air

boredom

today as usual when to do the routine stuff .... school , jp then home

it is true wad alvin said the out lives are vicious cycles and it juz goes on and on for ever and nothin good can ever come out of this situation......( life )this so sucks and there must be a change in my life but wad part should i change.. this is wad i am askin myself but the 'toot' part of it is that i don get my answers and why is this so ..... and now my aim in life is the either a speech therapist or a psycologist and i really wanna do that through the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports when to their website it is encouraging to be a part of the social service sector in the future . it is catered to ppl for age 16 to 18 and i fit right in

so i have signed up to go for the seminar on the 15 of march to mark out my part in life and hope this seminar opens some doors to my now horrid life

i would be going to gunas house to fix his com with vicky and after that i am gonna nap there big time and after that maybe go for a jog and study my tution teacher will kill me if i don get my cations and anions right ok thats abt it for now


.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

i can't take it any more

i am so pissed with everyone around me

does anyone give a shit about my existance or are you there juz because we are on the same planet. i cant take it any more . i try do so much to help but no ones give a shit. all i get is rediculed and i cant even hold my head up high any more . but why do i get these small word bring me down . i should be like wad the song beautiful by christina

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single wayYes,
words can't bring me down oh no
So don't you bring me down today

remember all you bitches and bastards who are tryin to make me feel small and shitty ..... guess wad fuckers Daniel's in the house and he does not give a shit about wad ever you have to say .... juz FUCK a tree for all i care and a big SCREW YOU

THE ONES WHO I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS WERE NOT THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST .... YET THE ONES WHO I THOUGHT DID NOT GIVE A SHIT WAS THERE FOR ME

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM GOING TO HELP ANYBODY . but i am not so mean if you wan my help juz ask me and i will do my best to help but never will i help anyone again myself........ THERE IS NO F*UCKING APPRECIATION WHAT SO EVER . I AM SO GOONA TO HAVE FUN WITH OR WITHOUT YOU BASTRD ... I DON NEED YOU ,(REPEAT) I HAVE MY OWN LIFE YOU KNOE

SO SCREW YOU BIG TIME

though i fall i shall not be cast down

today i am feeling very sad today .the feeling of being a loser is still in me and it hurts a alot.all the hard work that i put into that debate all when down the drain . all the dry runs all the editing all the work i did all when down the toilet in a flush . it hurts the most that we lost to 5/3 .ouch that is the thing that hurts the most and also thought us a lesson sayin that 5/1 is not always the better class. even though we had won several awards such as modal class , national day winners, cny winners it would boil down to nothing we don study and win them acadamically

this has really made me think that i cant in ever thing that i wan .but most importantly is how do i handle losing . and how do i get by it and how do i improve myself because of this. this has been a humbling and a lesson learnt. and on my way home i had this sudden thought in my mind . it was a hymn i sang in church and it had these words in it . it was " when i fall i shall not be utterly cast down....."

this gave me encouragment and i am feeling better now . knoeing that so many people loves me and cares for me and comforted me when i felt down thank you everybody who cares and loves me and to my friends who was there when i needed you the most your everyword of comfort is appreciated

bon jovi its my life the song is juz great so much meaning in the lyrics of that song

It’s my life.And it’s now or never’cause I ain’t gonna live forever. I just want to live while I’m alive(it’s my life). My heart is like an open highway. Like frankie saidI did it my way. I just want to live while I’m alive’. cause it’s my life!

later today i have tution and after that i am going to the gym and i plan to lose at least 4 kg but the end of june and i decided to stop eating mcdonals and i have already stop eating chicken

wad a day

i when to have my belated v-day celebration .at lau pa sat had dinner with the ever so beautiful bazillah and seha and also with sarah

when to kallang to meet vicky ... saw his place not bad looks quite nice actually and the dog is so cute . after that when to one of his friends places. that is one of the worse places i when ever . i have never saw a house where there is no door and no furniture and empty. to my surprise i heard that the ones living there had no time to buy it. how lame can it get ........

after that took a train and met the gals at raffels place we took photos than proceeded to eat , we sat on the road and ate it was so cool seeing the cars woom!! past us . weird but cool. we had satay. have you ever heard of duck satay. we tried it was kinda good and also nice . as soon as the food arrived seha left sayin that she had to meet her mum or sumthing like that

after eatin we left that place and took a river taxi to esplanade it was so beautiful and we sat at the rooftop and saw the stars and spoke abt aminah... wow there were lots to talk abt today i was late for school met my friend and came in with her we had to sit outside the hod room till 8.50. did the debate in class ppl say i am speaking to fast and they do not know wad i am sayin. wtf

thanks denise my blog so rocks it is so beautiful i love it thanks. and thanks for loving me all those who love me and thanks taggers

sunday the day b4 V-DAY

to those who actually read my blog i wish to tell you thanks and a very happy valentine day

started of the day by going off to church and thenfor lunch at market one at taman jurong. we walked there from church .on the way we passed by jurong town primary school it brought back memories . most of them good and some of them bad but after all they are momories and that is the only thing you can carry along . nothing else ! i learned that you have to cherish the thoughts of the past and look forward.... but it is also good at times to think about the past.. ;)

hid and azland came to my house we were dying azland's hair did not turn out that bad . though the colour did not stick all over his head at least the front was good . he is now the proud owner of a HORN ... lol lol

hopefully meeting them today later in the evening .... tomorrow is the day of love some ppl say but do anyone out there actually knoe the true meaning of v-day
The History of Valentine's DayEvery February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.


One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

so it was not always about chocolates and flowers you knoe...

cny celebration at mama's house

yester i did not have enough time to type my blog so i am doing it today

when to school and survived the bordom there and when for my stuppid tamil remedial. where i found that my tamil teacher does not understand the first come first serve system . wad a weirdo ... this country works in a way that the first will succeed and second place makes you a loser. this is the seed that is planted in our heads the daythat we are born. lets not talk about that even though i do believe that there should be a revesion in that system

call my God-mama to wish her happy cny... but she in return invited me to her house for cny i had so much fun ..... drinking playing singing and also watching erin brockwich in mamas room with pam ,mei fang, darren and wei siang ..... we ate to our hearts content and sure had alot of fun

than the others procced to iguana while i came back with pam mama gave mi a hong bao so sweet of her...

the second day of cny .......

yesterday was not bad, had a bit of fun . after vicky visited me at my place we when to suja's place for both of them to meet .hope they had a good talk with each other..... took a realli long mrt ride to pasir ris where i was met hid at downtown east . had dinner there at mac i gobbled down the food as i was really hungry .... i had the fish burger meal

and proceeded to the chalet jua then hid warned me that they were all mads there i would not actually fit in but that was not the case. though the starting part was bad ...i repeat bad it got better . i should poor thing the pl there onli ate chicken bcos the guy who ever suppose to bring the rest of the food forgot to ....lol

got home by azland bro he drove us back at abt 120 km/h the ride was so fast felt as if i was in a sport car ... felt good today i am planning to go to the uk funfair with chee woon .dont knoe how will that turn out ....


.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

on the first day of cny...

woke up abt 11 am today and was wondering what i would be doing for the rest of the day . after brushing my teeth i sat down for breakfast and then it started my mum started to tell me how loving were her friends children to each other... and i was so annoyed by that fact . she wes repeating what she was sayin over and over and over again arr .... so like any normal teenager would do i walked off and then she blew ...

she was sreaming at me tellin me how rude i was for juz walking off and that i have no respect for her. she also told me i had no respect for anyone for that matter regardless and was so pissed when she said that and then i started to blow with an exchange of few words i am now in the room tyoing my blog while she is still galavanting about me .... WHATEVER

i would be watching a lot of tv and maybe in the evening i might wanna go to towner to meet my friends and juz chill out . or maybe go down to the beach to give a tribute to the sea i wanted to do that since the tsunami but did not have enough time to do so and it is a ver good time now.... my God bless the souls of those whoe perished on that fateful day . my prayer goes to all thoses who lost their loved ones on that day. may the good Lord be with you and give you peace and rest

the celebrations begin ( cny )

the started of with me going to school ... the first thing that happened was the hamper making competition which everyone was putting in so much effort ... ya rite as if .... it was a unfair balance of ppl who were working on it . and the worst part is that the ppl who were doing the work was scolding the ppl who tried to help out.... arrr wad a life cant take it ... and the best part is that this group of ppl did not give a rats ass to thoese who were sitting down on their ass ... i am so not going to think abt this group of ppl anymore

the concert was not bad ... chee woon did not do bad was quite good actually. at least it was not a waste of time for me going to school . gave my dear mdm yong 6 oranges may she live long and strong .

when to jurong point after that for lunch with jenna . marilyn joined us. and as we were there richmond and darren joined us it was quite fun . the bill came out to be 50 + but our ever so generous jenna settled the bill it was nice of her to do so thanks jenna

met hid and rashid had our reunion dinner at pizza hut . now i am back at home typing my blog till tomorrow

.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

wad a day

today i when to school almost late juz to find out that i did not bring the basket for the hamper for the hamper making competition ..... after my stupid poa paper which i knoe i so did not do well i when home... i mean rush home ... juz to find out my class mate did not appreciate me for what i did my juz complained for me being late , the did not consider my feelings at all .they only can say that i was late.arrrrr....... if i did not borther abt the class do you think i would have given a dam abt the competition . i rushed home and rushed back but who gives a sh*t abt me

after handing over the baskets to them i rushed off to the hall .... and chee woon if you are reading this you are the reason why i am going to school tomorrow ... if it was not for your performance i would be going at all ... this is a fact my boy... then me the banana and mini me at the hall and after that had so much fun .we both were stapling away and making fun of richmond ...lol as soon as that was over when to help out in house pratice and it was so fun .. i juz love throwing shot put ... this is a fact and it is fun not much physical energy required ... the kind i love so much " a painless work out "

when to have ice cream after that at mac kinda cool chillin out with an ice cream after a tiring day ... had tution .. ifor a weird reason i think i am starting to like chemistry ,.... so not me ^_^
my friend came over to visit me and fix my com it was kinda fun and my mum cam home abt 10.30 with dinner so stuffed now * full * burb!!!!!

time to get some winkz now and tomorow have a luncg appoinment with jenna at pizza hut .... cant wait till next time


.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

yeah had so much fun

today started off like any other sundays... the usual church service followed by lunch. but today was a little different . i am my mum when to jurong point . we first when to popular book store and bought myself a english pratice book and then followed my mum to do grocery shopping she asked me along juzt to carry her load .... as usual

but the second part of the day was just a delight i met up with my primary school freinds hid and rashid we met at superbowl at around 4.30 and yes i bought myself new shoes they look so different ... never saw anyone wore that kind of shoes on the street... kind of unique ... juz the way i like it . seriously i don like to have wad others have i like things that are differnt and weird .... comin back to my friends they are likethe best in the whole wide world... they realli understand the way i felt and juz knoe wad to do to make me feel rite... juz do not knoe wad i will do without them ......... love you both from the depths of my wounded hurt

and the juz gets better after the superbowl we when to jurong point and we had dinner at banquet ... i had the usual the usual carrot cake extra black and then it was followed by having a waffel at anderson's ice cream it was so fun ......

and now i am at home typing my blog and thanking myself for my stepping out of my ring of self pity and i will try my best to stop doing it... and i will succed and i will triumph over adversities and be glories my everything good be added unto me

.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out

a toss to new beginning

my blog is like the coolest ever thanks to denise ... she should so consider a job in web designing... i have no patience in doing this kind of tedious work . resizing ,adding, subtracting the thought of it makes me " SIGH " and i juz had to change the system i was using the diaryland system was starting to get on my nerves .... always hitting an error page arrrr thank to a very good friend i have a new well done blog and i am so proud of it

yesterday was a day of a day of shattered dreams and a day when i lost control of myself and i cant take it any more it at time juzt hurts to much to talk abt it. i am in need of a person who understands me .. pardon me i am not searching for love i am searching for a friend that CARES ... I THINK I FOUND IT the feeling is euphoria unexplainable ... i think i juzt found the person i need and never did i ever think that i would friend in REAVE . yesterday was a day when i was in the depths of my soul and i was thinking abt myself ....the kind of life i am living now and the way of live that i actally wanna live ... i use to think that the stuff and people around me were the cause of my misery but yesterday i found out that i was the source of my problems . and it had nothing to do with the ppl around and in actual fact they were tryin to help me... i have learnt my lessons always the hard way and i always regret wad i do after i do a deed ... wad is wrong with me

things i should not have done yesterday . number one breakdown in the middle of the road and cry my guts out and while drowing myself in self-pity . the second thing was to drink . time and time again i have have promised to myself that i would not drink and that getting myself drunk will never help . nobody have found solace in the bottom of the bottle ... it may vanish for a while just to appear more bold the next time and drinking tends to highten your emotions and makes you feel a whole lot worse ... but that is all over now

i have promised myself that i will never drink to help myself feel better .... and i found out that when i am in need there are ppl who are willing to help me and love and care for me i am so touched by their behavior ... and a special thanks goes to my friend chee woon who kept me accompany and allowed me to put up in his place for the night .Thankyou once again and love you all that loves me

.:-{ D@n!eL }-:. out